#i could probably do a whole ass review if anyone would be interested

[yoldels]

Finished the Sdr 2 playthrough a few days ago, btw

[starlitprism]

"That's a Major": My Marcille Degree Rant

OK we're starting with this. Funny right? Yeah.

BUT IT GOT ME THINKING

You know what no one brings up in that story? NO ONE?!

This is just a major. This is a MAJOR! YOU CAN DO IT AT HER ALMA MATER.

It is not HER FAULT that this was available. She went in, saw something interesting and went "COOL" because IT'S A MAJOR. Because apparently this CODIFIED FORM OF STUDY is also just something the elves hate. NOW, it honestly seems to surprise all the characters that this was a MAJOR she could choose but let's be honest here. This is just a reverse of the meme where experts greatly overestimate how much the average person knows about their craft. Of course they don't know. The only one that WOULD know in the story is the impetus for the whole FUCKING PLOT.

She who probably would respond by "yeah I know. That's on the curriculum. I took an intro class" BUT NO. We don't get that because she's too busy being dead or other weird shit partially thanks to that same set of courses. Like, you will notice everyone is super surprised when they bring her back but NOT HER. SHE KNEW. Everyone else is like "look at this unholy abomination" when it's just like a history degree. Seriously though, Falin seems a little surprised and disoriented at first but otherwise seems utterly unfazed at waking up in a blood circle surrounded by a dead dragon's innards.

THAT SAID, I am exaggerating for comedy. Here is what we actually know. In the very next scene in the hot tub, she does note that there was something about the circle that felt wrong to her. So maybe she didn't know her shit about this. Or, maybe she only knew about it academically as related to what Marcille studied and never seen or experienced it in any way. That or somehow Marcille managed to keep a secret from the woman she very obviously adores with her literal everything which I... doubt. Then again, she is Laios' sister so who knows if she carries the same level of general obliviousness (I am also autistic like Laios is so I can just state that outright. We can be fucking OBLIVIOUS at times).

It also goes to show, the elves are idiots. They are so certain that this is so unknown that they have to hunt individuals while there is some professor(s) somewhere just... teaching it. Or at least something related! For, like, a day job! And they never even think to ask "where are all these people learning this" NO. THEY DON'T. THIS IS GONNA KEEP HAPPENING. BECAUSE IT'S JUST AVAILABLE. AND THEY, in their hubris, can't imagine ANYONE EVER having this information BUT THEM. It could just be freely available and everyone knows not to talk about it because the elves got a SPIKE in their collective ass!

Ok, you ask, "but what if it was a secret?" and you know what? Fair. To that I have to say https://tenor.com/view/marcille-best-girl-failure-tantrum-breakdancing-dungeon-meshi-delicious-in-dungeon-gif-7429268588073434370

(The above is a picture and link to a gif of Marcille on her head, kicking her legs wildly because this girl doesn't react normally ever to anything) This. This is Marcille when something happens. She's not subtle. She has never been subtle. She commonly screams her reactions. I call bullshit on secret.

More importantly though, that's not really how education tends to work. People study something and, outside of MAYBE grad school level or PhD level minimum, you largely talk with people who know your subject.

You gotta remember, education is a bunch of nerds who want to talk about their shit. People don't just research something to know it. They research it to publish it and have it peer reviewed even if it's just an assignment they turn into their professor which I guess is like a first step to publishing.

Research is gathered, references found, pointed to, and then showed off. AND IN THE CASE OF PRACTICAL STUDIES, people do it! You got to prove your research was right. Otherwise it's a bunch of potentially useless theory. So if you think Marcille hasn't done SOMETHING like this before, there's no way. She was confident she could do SOMETHING about it. Just saying, I would pay a lot to see the face's on the member of her dissertation committee.

I brought this up with some friends and they mentioned that she might have just studied Dungeon creation and studied Ancient Magic on her own. And fair but then Ancient Magic wouldn't be her specialty would it? At least, except in a very egotistical self estimated way without ANY outside feedback which is a core tenet of education. Unless she was the pre-eminent lone scholar of ancient magic of course but she never goes on about that so i'm going assume that's not the case. Here is what we got from the show

In the show she says "What I specialize in is actually ancient magic which is highly forbidden. It's use is frowned upon but using it to revive Fallin, it's our best option"

When Senshi and Chilchuck, protested she just says "magic doesnt' have morality"

Now I could be wrong but for this wonderfully high-strung woman whose reactions are so so much, this looks practiced and calm. She either has defended this before, was quoting something someone else (like a teacher), or somehow she has suppressed all her beautiful exaggerated weirndess in the midst of ABSURD amounts of stress. Personally, I think Option 2 and 1 are more likely as this is a highly emotional subject for her and her self control is shit.

Like seriously, let's say her alma mater doesn't have a class that teaches ancient magic. Let's say, no one but her knows much of anything. What would happen if someone caught her in the library grabbing strange books that have scraps of ancient magic knowledge in them? She's allowed to be there but she's just so... HER that she would probably jump in surprise and try and justify it while trying NOT to reveal what she is researching. And because she has all the cool of a pickle, EVERYONE in school would know Marcille was up to something.

The above is a picture of Marcille losing her shit from a video titled "Marcille gradually losing her mind for 6 minutes || Dungeon Meshi. The link to it is https://youtu.be/gmY2x8_nnjw

So yeah, there would be rumors. The worst kept secret in the school is Marcille is a bad girl who researches something questionable. To say nothing of the fact that this girl has demonstrated major teacher's pet energy. I would put my money on there being at least one professor there who gets occasional downloads of ancient magic from one of their top students all while they look on going "I can tell no one" unless of course there is an actual program.

FOR MY FINAL POINT I HAVE BUT ONE WORD TO GIVE. Internet

By which I mean, the lack of it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to research something based only on the physical books you have access to in a specific location? IT TAKES AWHILE TO GET ANYWHERE.

That means travel for you or your subject matter and, with something like THIS that could be considered dangerous, you would have to be SO damn careful to make sure you don't get a reputation as "the ancient magic girl." That said, she's a (warning, spoilers) half elf so she has time. SO MUCH TIME. But we know it hasn't been too much time because Falin attended at the same time as her. Falin and her brother did various (failed) things for several years before Marcille showed up at the dungeon. I, at least, don't know how much time passed but they both clearly look to be in their 20s or so to me. Could be wrong due to the art style but that's just my read. At most, SUPER low 30s. Which means, Marcille couldn't have been traveling everywhere taking months and months to cross seas to get specific books for that long. That time would get eaten up so very quickly.

WHICH LEADS US back to the start. And my claim that the simplest most likely explanation IS

This Is

A Major

[verilly]

Flowers of Insanity / LAS / EFoT ✶

Aqua Hoshino x Reader

This is PART TWO, check out the other parts below!

REQUIEM: Sixth New Genesis

What's to come: [Lovenow], [Aqua Hoshino x Reader], [Akane Kurokawa plot points], [Reader likes both genders], & [mentions of suicide (Akane)]

[Songs of the chapter: "Marshmary" by MIMI, "Nonbreath Oblige" by PinnocchioP, "I hope you can be an adult someday" by TUYU]

[5,937 words]

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

All the time you spent with Eruru Osawa made her remind you more of Hanae, but soon you realized they were nothing alike. They were both kind to you, but that was pretty much it. You soon found out that her family business was one in the entertainment industry, if you squint. Her family owns a somewhat-famous original amusement park here in Japan. You'd really like to go there with her one day.

Aquamarine Hoshino on the other hand was a lot harder to grasp because unlike Eruru, he doesn't speak as much, and he doesn't say what's on his mind either. What you find special about him though are his eyes, it's one just like Ai's... he must be really special. You don't think you've ever gotten close to anyone like him before, so you don't know what to expect from him.

You heard that he's an actor, he appeared in a Drama, an adaptation for a hit manga. Not that you've read it before though, romance never tingled your brain as much as an action pact filled one did. However, you kept seeing horrible reviews about the Drama on social media, so you decided to give it a watch.

Yeah, it sucked ass. Though, the last episode really shot the ratings up. That was the episode Aqua was in, it was kind of hot. The girl was quite a good actor as well, you felt bad for her throughout the entire Drama because you felt like her talent was being wasted away. Come to think of it, you saw that girl talking to Aqua before, so she might also be attending this school, interesting.

No matter what happens though, whenever you see Aqua, or hear anyone mention him, images of Ai flash into your brain. You know it's not probable for him to be anywhat related to her, but it's fun to see that her life still lives on in your head years after she passed away. You did wish for her eyes after all.

This year, you've already made two whole friends, maybe you'd have more if you considered people your friends other than acquaintances more easily, not that that's ever going to happen.

You spend most of my time at school on your phone, which sounds bad and anti-social, and it is. Most of Eruru's time is spent socializing with every person imaginable, and if she's talking to everyone, she's talking to everyone but you. Aqua on the other hand barely shows up to class, you saw him hanging around a girl who looked exactly like him though. A sibling relationship in school, that's cute.

That's okay with you, you don't need friends to survive until March 9th or find Hanae— Well, maybe you do need connections to find her again, but you doubt anyone here would know her, but then...

That's when you met someone special!

Matsuyo Mochizuki. He has the same last name as Hanae, so you should get closer to him to get more information out of him. Then again, the surnames of this world don't mean that they are inherently related but... you could still try. After all, Hanae did live in Tokyo back then, and we're in Tokyo right now. Maybe Matusyo is her... cousin?

He's really quiet, he first entered Yoto High School a few weeks later than the average student, he skips school all the time, and when he does show up, he's never on time. His hair is dark and short, but at some points, it's long... how strange, almost like he cuts his own hair. His eyes were like the opposite of mine, dark and darker. Not a single shine of light was seen in them. Oh, and his teeth. They're quite special too, he had sharp teeth all over, not just his canines.

He's not ugly though, you could most definitely use him to find her. Your stars darkened as you hid your smile with your right hand, your eyes shut as you started planning. You could feel Aqua staring again. Awkward. You opened them soon after, giving the boy next to you a quick glance, you locked eyes. He looked away quickly, do you have that kind of power with these eyes now? Your smile widens as you quietly giggle to yourself.

*"★Hi there, my name is [name] [last-name]. What's yours?" You ask as you smile, giving him a hand. He didn't respond. "Hehe, that's okay. I'll just stay here until you talk to me!" The anxiety that usually grew in my stomach has gotten smaller and smaller throughout your experience in high school. You guess that Eruru is really starting to rub off on you.

"C'mon, Matsuyo Mochizuki, I totally just lied. I already know your name, just talk to me! You look lonely.★" I lean on my hand, "You can't be silent forever!~"

*Aqua's eyes widened, he's staring at you again. 'Have you always acted this way?' His eyes didn't make you feel uncomfortable this time, you kind of felt like a star, Matsuyo on the other hand still hasn't said anything to you.

"...What do you want from me?" Matsuyo sighed, his dark eyes glaring deep into your soul. You close your eyes to get away, but keep a smile on your face. He's going to be a hard one to crack.

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

You really do want to sound cool and everything, but you don't really know what to expect from anyone. That's why you were a shut-in. So, when you were invited to do a reality TV show, you were shocked.

Why would they need a faceless internet celebrity? Then the thoughts connected. Ah yes, your follower count. That would boost their ratings, wouldn't it? However, this show doesn't suit you at all.

Lovenow?

Another romance show? What would you even gain from this other than maybe a slip of the unwanted reveal of your face? You went over it all with the managers you hired for yourself to discuss the pros and cons. They came to the conclusion of 'If you join, it may boost your views by growing connections with the other members and their fans.'

Therefore, you sent the producers a message that reads something along the lines of "I'll join your show if and only if you sign this contract stating that you will never release my true identity to the public and blur my face in all the scenes I'm in."

It took a while for them to read the full contract, but they allowed it, making himself and all the other workers sign as well. You were happy with the product, but took extra precautions by *wearing a mask at all times.

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

Today is the first day of filming for 'Lovenow', you wouldn't have guessed who showed up on set, Aquamarine Hoshino. Of course he didn't know it was you behind this cute [animal] mask of yours, and there's no way he'd know it's you from your voice since you haven't spoken yet... you decided to change your voice and tone to how you usually do when you stream.

Not to mention that you came extra early on set for someone on the makeup team to style your hair in a way you could never do on your own, plus you requested they add colorful highlights to show off the person you are on the inside! You've never felt prettier. You gave yourself so much personality with the way you looked, even your mask had colorful stickers on it.

The school uniform you were wearing was a lot more dull than the ones they had you wear in Yoto High School, but it still looked quite cute on you. Your new coworkers are all really cute as well!

The hit internet celebrity Memcho, 18, the new star Yuki Sumi, 16, the special dancer Nobuyuki Kumano, 17, the guitarist of a band Kengo Morimoto, 17, Aqua Hoshino, 16, and this other really pretty girl... Akane Kurokawa, 17.

Out of everyone in the cast, Akane was the girl who caught your eye. She's beautiful. Her hair falls to her shoulders, you think that if you wanted to get a partner out of this show, you'd choose her. Your plan for this is that you'll play along with the rest of the cast for entertainment, and then sit on the sidelines when people start confessing their 'feelings' for one another.

You watch as the first scene starts playing out, people walk into an empty classroom and start introducing themselves to each other, but most importantly, they're introducing themselves to the cameras set all over the classroom. Aqua goes right before you, from the way you're seeing this, he's acting like a more piped up version of the one you interact with at school.

You took a deep breath as you walked into the classroom, all eyes were on you, including the crews. With a slightly higher tone than you usually speak in, words start to leave your mouth, *"✧Hi everyone, my name is [alias], it's a pleasure to meet you!" you clap your hands together as you smile behind your mask.

"Woah! [alias]? Really?" Memcho bursts out, "I didn't know you were a highschooler!" She grinned as she put a finger to her chin, "We should totally collab together on my channel sometime!"

"Hmm... I've heard of you before," The band member pulled his phone out, "W-Wait..! You have over a-"

"A million!?" Yoto screamed out, "What in the world?! That's so cool!! I can't believe that I'm sitting next to a real celebrity!"

"Woah, calm down! You all are celebrities too!✧" You laugh as you sit down in a chair next to the rest of them, I rest my head on my hand, "Well, I saw that you played someone in 'I'll have it Sweet Today', Aqua!"

"Yeah, I sure did. It was only for one episode though." Aqua stared straight into your masks eyes, you sweat, does he know that you're...??

"Well because of that one episode, you single handedly lifted up that show to success!" Nouyuki grinned, you could tell that he's going to be a popular fan choice.

-End of Flowers_of_Insanity

After a few weeks of filming, you noticed the cast's quirks. Akane spends more of her time with the crew than the actual people on the screen, and she always has a notepad with her. Yoto and Nouyuki are the actual romance in Lovenow, and it really looks like they have something going on together. You and Memcho are more of the comedy relief of the show, it must be something about hanging around on the internet for so long. Last but not least, Kengo and Aqua tend to hang out on their own. You felt bad that you didn't talk to Aqua more often since the two of you were friends in real life, but you suppose it's better to keep a low profile.

It's so nice to meet all these people. To your suprise, they're all genuine and kind, even if some of it's an act. Even though it's only been a month of recording, you feel that you've really grown to connect with these people. Each episode focuses on one person in particular, so when it landed on you for the second time, you dropped the mask for the first time in front of the cast and the cast only, but the camera didn't know that you were wearing another mask underneath.

The reactions from the cast were nothing to laugh at, compliments were thrown at you, words couldn't describe it other than a little phony, but in a good way. Honestly, you didn't feel much for it, but after that episode aired, the fans seemed to have loved it. Though, there were a lot of people on Twitter and a few blogs asking your co-stars to reveal your face to them, but they had nothing to say to those people, you felt really grateful for that.

There were a lot of events that happened during the show to keep things spicy, you think that the producers really want you to end up with someone here because they made you and Kengo play together for a mini concert. It was one of your original songs, but they still had to make a deal and pay you to use it, oh, and Kengo had to learn the music in very a short amount of time. It really made you look up to him, so whatever the producers are trying to do is working, but Akane still owns your heart.

Speaking of, you've been trying to talk to her, but she's been so focused on other things. Almost like she's been having a tough time, "Hey Akane, are you feeling alright?"

"Hm! Oh... [alias], I'm doing okay... I just..." Akane sighed, sitting down at the table next to her, "I need to stand out more, I've been on the sidelines for this entire show and... I think that people are starting to forget who I am." She hid her face in her arms.

"No way!! No one would forget a face as beautiful as yours!" You shout unexpectedly, a little too loud, cameras start rolling, "I- What I mean is... all you have to do is apply yourself some more, let loose!☆" You grab her hands and hold them warmly, "And whatever you do, I swear I'll follow."

"W-wha... [alias]..." Akane's face grew red, "t-thank you."

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

Akane acted differently today while on set, she was putting herself out there more often, but it didn't really scream at her. It was an awful experience to watch, but you didn't want to pop her bubble by pushing yourself too far into her business.

She was trying to make a role for herself by trying to separate Yuki from Kengo and that dancer guy, but of course, Yuki was still fighting back.

"Oh? Looks like Akane's finally playing her cards!" Memcho said, leaning against the rooftops railing, "I saw her talking to you the other day, [alias], d'ya know anything about it?"

"Hm? Oh, well I did hear her talk about needing to stick out to the fans more, but I don't know if this is the best suit for her. I mean, maybe if she started a other side love story it'd be cute but...★" You mumble, you didn't know what you were really talking about. 'Side love story', what a joke! The only other people available were you and Aqua.

"Hmmm? What does that mean, [alias-nickname]?~ Do you like Akane Kurokawa?~" Memcho giggles, as she smirks and punches my arms gently, "What about you, Aqua, do you think that [alias] and Aka-nene would end up looking good together?"

"Ah well, I wouldn't say I'm against it in any way... I suppose the two of you would end up looking cute together." Aqua forced out a chuckle as you stare at the both of them, deadpanned, though they couldn't see it, "But if that did happen, there wouldn't be anyone left for me."

"Hey! I'm still here ya know!" Memcho screeched out, grabbing Aqua's shoulders in a playful manner, you point and laugh for the camera you just noticed.

"★Me and Akane..." you turn around to look at Akane talking to Kengo and sigh, "Well if she likes me then I guess I'll like her back." You turned back around to Memcho and Aqua, you don't think they actually listened to what you said, but you're sure that the camera did. "☆What about you, Aqua? Who do you like?"

"Oh." Memcho stops attacking Aqua to listen for his answer, Aqua looks around before opening his mouth again, "I guess you could say that I like..." Aqua looked at you before smiling again, "Nah, it's a secret."

"WHAAAT!!? No way! You can't just say that! You have to tell us!! Or at least, you should come and tell me! Whisper it into my ear!!" Memcho whined as she began pulling at Aqua's uniform begging him to spill his secret, "Please please please please! [alias] told us!"

"[alias] barely said anything, all you did was mention Akane. They didn't even say anything about liking her back" Aqua sighed, his hand on Memcho's face, trying his best to push her away, "Plus, you haven't told us who you like either."

"Well all of you are too young for me! I'm 18, and all you younglings are just too much like babies compared to me! Especially you two, y'all are 16 still, aren't you?" Memcho asked. You and Aqua agree simultaneously, "See! Ah, and if I were to get into a relationship, it would totally mess up my streams, I think."

"Well I'm with you there, being an internet celebrity does have its downsides." You laugh, "But Aqua, you should totally tell me who you like! Don't worry, ☆I'm great at keeping secrets~"

"No way." Aqua sighed, keeping both me and Memcho away from him simultaneously, I laughed some more. I guess Aqua can be more cute and chill when he's outside of school, though it's probably not genuine at all.

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

Last night, Yuki did your nails. She made yours really pretty, they had two colors, [color] and black with these shiny gems or what not. While Yuki was working on your nails you had a talk with Akane. You gave her your suggestion of trying to make a side plot love story instead of trying to push herself into one that already existed. You tried my best to convince her, even Yuki chimed in at some point, but to no avail. She was dead set on doing it this way.

"Well, it's game on then." Yuki smiled, focusing her attention on Akane's nails this time, "Give it your all, Akane. 'Cuz I won't be holding back at all!"

"Yeah." Akane smiled back, "Let's make this fair."

Fair, what a fun word. The world is never fair, and it shows. You saw it with your very own two eyes, the scene was set, Akane didn't mean to hurt Yuki at all-

So why was this happening to her?

Akane accidentally scraped Yuki's cheek with the nails that Yuki made her the other night. The media started to swarm against her. You saw that too, you even got questions from strangers on the internet yelling at you, asking for more information on it, though as per contract, you weren't allowed to say anything. Not a word, not even in her defense.

Akane didn't show up for the next few days of filming, you couldn't feel anything but dread for the days she didn't talk to the group. Even during school, you couldn't focus on anything else. Aqua looked fine, you really hoped he didn't notice your paranoia.

Then the calendar marked a faithful day other than March 9th, the day when a hurricane warning popped up on everyone's screens. The day Akane sent a message for the first time in days in the Lovenow group chat.

'I'm going to go out to get a few snacks from the convenience store.'

Yuki: 'Right now?? Akane! Don't go!'

Memcho: 'Akane there's a hurricane coming out.'

Kengo: 'Akane pick up your phone'

Nobuyuki: 'Akane are you home?'

Aqua: 'Akane?'

You audibly wince as you grab a thin jacket from your closet and run out of your apartment. Even though Akane wasn't answering any text messages or calls, she still had her location finder on her phone. You followed it as fast and as accurately as you could. Luckily for you, it wasn't too far away from where your apartment was.

It led you to a bridge... a bridge?

Then you saw the figure, you weren't sure if it was Akane, all you knew was that they were standing on the ledge, arms spread. You couldn't think, you ran as fast as you could. It was later than what you would've wanted to though, the figure had already jumped. You grabbed them, their body was still in the air, a little heavier than what you'd normally be able to carry, but the thrill was driving you on.

"No! No! Let go of me, please, just let me die!" The voice screamed, squirming her body around to get away from my grasp. It was Akane. Your eyes widened as the rain continued to pour down on the two of you.

"Akane! Listen to me! It's me, it's me, [alias]!" You yell out, grabbing her tighter, trying your best to pull her back onto the bridge.

"[alias]..? Just listen to me, let go... save yourself. You don't want to be seen with someone like me." Akane sobs out some more, "Let go [alias]!"

"No! Akane, stop fighting me! J-Just let me pull you up!" You start to tear up as well, your grip loosens as you get pulled over the edge. The only thing holding you up was the ledge Akane had just recently just jumped off from and your horrible back strength which was slowly dying out.

Before you could fall, however, someone from behind pulled both you and Akane back. You winced, the force of your body falling onto the concrete floor with Akane on top of you filled your body with a sharp and stinging pain. Though, it probably didn't hurt as much as the pain as the person underneath the two of you felt.

Akane turned around into your chest, sobbing. You comfort her to the best of your ability but start sobbing with her at some point. You didn't bother to look at the person sitting next to you, from the slight tone of his huffs you could tell that it was Aqua. The fact that you weren't wearing your mask formed a bubble of worry in your head, yet you hoped it was too dark so that nobody could make out who you were. 

Your vision was blurry from the tears you were shedding. You stroke her head as you whisper to her about how everything'll be alright.

"...Who?" You were right, it was Aqua.

You try to cover your face with your hand as you quickly look away. Pulling the collar of your top over your nose, you then even tried to position Akane to cover yourself, even though you knew it was incredibly uncomfortable for the both of you

"[name], is that you?" Aqua repeats himself, this time, he gets closer.

"What? [name]? N-never heard of whoever that is before, nope! Not at all..." You stutter out, it's of no use anyway, he knew you were there. All you could hope was that no one else would find out.

"[alias], you got here before me?" Aqua asked.

"..." You couldn't say anything, not anything you'd admit to at least. Aqua should have never found out.

Another loud pair of footsteps ran over towards us, before they fully got to the three of you, Aqua covered you and Akane with his rain jacket. Your face grew red.

-End of Looking_All_Sad

It wasn't long before the rest of Lovenow's cast showed up, however, the first person to show up was Akane's mother. Aqua caught her all up on what happened as you sat back and watched as everything unfolded before you. The last people to show up was, who you guessed were, Aqua's mom and mother.

No one came for you though, not that you minded too much—

"Aqua! Isn't that your rain jacket?" A girl with sparkling red eyes asked as she pointed directly at you.

"Ah that's..."

"Is that the person you're going to end up with at the end of Lovenow?!" She giggled as she punched his arm, Aqua let out a disgruntled curse in response. You laugh at their antics.

Soon Akane left the room, walking out with her mother. She looked at you with her puffy eyes as she left the building. Not before Yuki ran her way towards Akane and slapped her directly across the face, you gasp and you clench your hands that lie on your lap. She was crying too, crying as she rested her head against Akane's shoulders sobbing as her yells turned into quiet murmurs.

The room fell silent when Akane officially left the building. Aqua's mom sighed and patted his back as she left with her daughter, telling him to "stay safe", how cute!

Right, Akane. This is a problem. You and the rest of the cast know that she really didn't mean any harm, however, people online don't. How could you fix this? A million thoughts ran around in your head. Aqua suggested that for Akane's safety she could leave Lovenow as a whole. Which is a viable option, but she shouldn't have to quit something she enjoys just because of strangers on the internet.

One by one, the people crowded in the hallway slipped out and went back home. Again, leaving only you and Aqua together. You thought about giving him his raincoat back, you wouldn't really need it anymore if he was the only one left. You were already found out. You bit your bottom lip before you spoke, but no words slipped past your lips.

"So you're [name]?" Aqua asked, turning back to look at your sweating figure, he didn't need to say your name out load again.

"Don't say it so loud! And... yeah. I am, uhm. Sorry you had to find out this way..?" You murmur, the hood was still covering your face, you liked that. It made you feel like you still had a barrier between your persona and the real you, even if you still felt phony

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Aqua slowly got closer to you. Weird.

"Why would I do that? It's totally unprofessional..! And... and...!" Why was he so close?? "You shouldn't even focus on this at all, what you— what we should be focusing on is to help Akane!"

"Right. Akane. The internet is horrible, not to mention that this show is just..." Aqua continued to mutter on and on about the recent news and the media's reactions. You zoned out for the most of it, "Reality TV... Ah, what about this?"

"Huh?"

"We're going to make a video to save her, real reality TV."

The media caught onto Akane's attempt at taking her life and went on a roll with it, word spread around like wildfire. Whether it be people talking about how this was just a sleazy attempt to get attention, people feeling sorry and making apologies, or what their opinions are about the situation. People just didn't shut up. Not to mention, Akane's taking a break from Lovenow until who knows when. There isn't anyone else to really look at other than her, Aqua's there but it's just uncomfortable now that he knows who you really are.

On the bright side, the video's production is going well. All of the cast members opted to help. For example: Memcho tried teaching Aqua more about Social Media and how to get people's attention quickly and Kengo offered background music with his guitar. You also offered music from a band you had connections with, 2You, and your voice as vocals. Aqua didn't mind, in fact, he appreciated it. To what you could tell at least.

The last, and more important, part of the plan is getting unused recordings from Lovenow's staff members. There wasn't anything you could do, it was all Aqua. He had the brains to figure something out, weasel his way to get the information out of the producer.

You kept trying to contact Akane, half of the time she didn't respond, she hasn't been going to school either. You threw your phone across the room and groaned into your bedsheets. All the pent up worry hasn't been doing too good for you, you barely show up to your classes either. Which as a consequence means your *relationship points with your classmates have slowly been decreasing ever so slightly, besides Aqua.

Eruru texts you ever so often about school events, you respond fairly quickly, but that's as far as it gets. You miss being around people again, not to mention you've been on hiatus for all streaming activities until you say otherwise. Matsuyo doesn't even try to reach out to you, which is a major bummer. You wonder how he's doing, you wonder how Hanae is doing. At this point, that's the only thing keeping you going besides Akane's well being.

Matsuyo Mochizuki, there's this slight chance that they could be related. You will stand strong and make sure you see her again in this life, even if you don't have much time left—

Beep!

"Hm...?" You wander to your phone, a new notification, this time it was from Aqua. You sigh as you open your phone. He's the only one who's actively talking to you. The other members in Lovenow didn't know you haven't been showing up to your classes, you're really grateful for that. Though whenever he does text you, it never brings you any joy. It's usually about something negative. Maybe it'll be different this time?

The text read: "Get ready and come to my place, everyone else is already here." You thought it was funny how Aqua talks all professionally even when it's through a text.

Quickly putting a hoodie on with sunglasses and a mask to hide your identity, you rush over to Aqua's place...

His place... where does he live again?

˚⋆୨ ✶ ୧⋆˚

You rushed over to find that all the other cast members of Lovenow were huddled in front of a screen with, you can only assume, Aqua in the middle. They didn't notice your entrance so you carefully walked over to see what it was all about. The video. Right, that's what this was all about. Aqua looked as if he was on the verge of death as he compiled pictures and videos of all of Lovenow's time together. The video, so far, was very nice. Like eye candy!

"Hm? Oh! [name] is here!!" Memcho brightly said after turning around, "Your aura reminds me of Aqutan! Dead! What have you been up to?"

"Nothing other than worrying to death about Akane." You sigh, putting your hand to your face, "Why did you call me here, Aqua?"

"Because I'm worried about you too. Everyone else here can tell that you look horrible" Aqua murmured, not looking away from his screen. That pissed you off, how could he say you looked horrible if he hadn't even glanced in your direction?? Before you could verbally react, Yuki had already punched him in the back, causing Aqua to bite his tongue, "And the plan is almost done."

"What Aqua's trying to say is that he wants everyone from Lovenow to be here when the video is all done!" Memcho says, clasping her hands together and smiling. You smile back under your mask, Akane will finally be free!

"Well? When are you gonna be finished, Aqua?" One of the boys asked.

"I'll finish quicker if you guys stop bothering me." Aqua murmured, to giggle to yourself about Aqua's comment.

"Well you heard him! Get out.★" You took your sunglasses off and glared at them, "I know he wants you here when he's all done, but saving Akane faster means no distractions!" You placed your sunglasses in your pocket as you watched all four of them slowly leave the office. You turned your head to look at Aqua's screen. He's so close... just a little more and Akane will get to show her face to the public again.

Half an hour of silence and hard clicks on the mouse, Aqua was still glued onto the screen. A few more dragging from his mouth passed by before he opened his mouth again, "Bring the others in."

You ran over and hugged him tight, "Thank you so much for doing this for her." You let go just as quickly as you latched onto him and skipped out the the room to go and get the others back. As you re-opened the door, Yuki rushed in before you could say anything.

"So?! Are you ready to post it??" She asks impatiently, holding onto her sweater tight.

"It's prime time to post it right now actually, my data shows that tons of people are online right now!" Memcho chimes in, pointing to a poorly drawn graph on her phone.

"Mm, yeah." Aqua mutters, "This has to work..."

"It better!" You say, bouncing on the back of Aqua's chair, waiting for him to finally click the export button.

"C'mon man, don't keep us waiting!" One of the boys said, putting their hand on Yuki's shoulder. With an annoyed sigh, Aqua clicked the export button while you hovered over him. When the final pixel reached the end of the loading bar, Aqua switched tabs and opened a popular blog site.

"Let's go Aqua! When I said it was prime time, I meant it! It only lasts a little white, so post it already!!" Memcho shouted, hurling herself on top of you, which consequently meant she hurled herself on top of Aqua. With one glance towards your masked face, Aqua added the professionally made video with a caption and finally clicked post.

With impatient eyes, everyone stared at the screen before them, waiting for the numbers to roll in. Did it not work? Why isn't anything happening? Aqua worked so hard— before another cruel thought entered your head, Aqua refreshed and the likes and comments started to bombard his inbox.

A few minutes passed as the cast watched in shock as everyone's opinions started to morph something in the favor of Akane. You were ecstatic that it worked, rushing over to grab your phone off the desk to check the post itself and to message Akane about it. The girls started jumping around with joy, the boys joined them after some time for the celebration while Aqua's head hit his desk in exhaustion. You slowly put your phone back down and laid your jacket on Aqua just as he did for you. Crouching down to be at eye level with him, you tell him thank you right before you call it a night and go back home.

You slipped past the *crowd of people with a smile on your face and went down the stairwell, but before you could make it out, you saw the same girl as you did the other day. The one that looked exactly like Aqua, she seemed to be in her pajamas and was quite caught off guard when she saw you.

"Ah!! You! It's you! [alias]!" The blonde, in what seemed like a millisecond, ran towards you, her face barely an inch away from yours. *"Ohmigosh, what's it like in Lovenow?! What do you think of my brother? Are you guys going to become a couple?!! How is Akane!?"

"☆Oh, uhm... Akane is... she's going to be okay. And Aqua is a really nice guy! He's done a lot for Akane and I'm really grateful for that." The girl in front of you asked a few more questions before you got the chance to slip off and excuse yourself to go back home. 

-End of Eyes_Full_of_Tears

Check out the other chapters! {CLICK ME}

[ceedaryaps]

Fourth Wing Yap Sesh PT. 2

Omg lowkey surprised anyone saw the first post and I kinda got excited to seee that but anyways heres my little review on the plot of Fourth Wing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of my favorite things about Fourth Wing is the amount of cliches that are used but instead of being like "ew again", it's more of a "they're so real for that."

Okay so first off, I like how in the first few moments they've already established the Sorrengail family dynamic off-rip. Mom is the absolute hard-ass, dead dad and brother combo, loving elder sister that mom respects and the kind of put to the side youngest sister that's underestimated cliche but I like it. It makes every action these characters take feel soo believable and realistic to me. Then the whole sisterly advice of staying away from the enemy, is intriguing, bc ouu who is this enemy why does he want Violet dead. Also the added humor of them talking about not screwing your superiors, realistic sibling convo tbh.

Jumping to the parapet scenes, man this really sets the tone of "Everything is dangerous," but at the same time, it was confusing. If the goal is to get as many cadets as possible to be riders so you can fight the looming threat (which hadn't been mentioned by this point if I remember correctly it's been about 2 months since I read the book). Then why are we making it as hard as possible to keep these cadets alive? I highly doubt that weeding out the weak is an answer especially if were crunched on numbers but I digress.

Violet seeing Xaden for the first time, my first thought was "Girl what is Rhysand doing here lmaoooo". I feel like we need to get more creative with our male love interest descriptions (WHERE THE FINE RED HEADS AT). Violent wanting to climb him is so real but at the same time Violet baby we gotta lock in were about to walk across a casm of death. Also, Barlowe throwing a kid off for WHAT. I think he's one of those kids who were bullied, hit puberty, then made everyone else's life hell. I too would be mad at the world if I was allergic to oranges.

After essentially killing potential cadets for no reason, they lined em up to sort em out, flex their dragons, and kill more of em. Granted, they definitely should not have run. Also if the man who I know wants me dead suddenly moved my squad under his wing I'd be fully shaking in my boots. Forget the fact that he's sexy he now has easier access to kill her and I wouldn't count on Dain to help at all. ATP they've shown that cadets are dispensable id sleep with an eye open.

I vibe heavily with the sparring scenes it's my fav part of any fantasy or dystopian book. Imogen absolutely GUNNING for Violet off rip, I hand it to Vi for not giving in though.

Over Violets time as Basigath I enjoyed reading about but I really ended up being completely uninterested until the gauntlet. The tension with Violet, Dain and Xaden honestly did nothing for me personally, I found myself more interested in the dragons, and how their riders' powers correlate. But I really liked the gauntlet as it showcased how SMART Violet is, she took something that was, realistically, nearly impossible for her to do, and she made it work. Why Amber was so mad about it I have no clue why, like its not cheating if anything you should be amazed at how inventive this cadet is like we should be PRAISING THIS.

Them being presented to the dragons was a key moment for me, Violet panicking bc she thought Ridoc got torched and he essentially just goes "Well ANYWAYS." Top tier.

Their actual bonding with dragons was another moment. Essentially Tairn was not going to bond at all but he was like well this one defended a feather tail, who probably could have bitten their heads off if she wanted to, might as well bond ig lmfaoo. Tairn is top tier. Also, I peeped that Andarna was a baby dragon right away, bc what do you mean, "no one ever seen a baby dragon," and "no one ever bonds with feathertails." I feel like at some point a scribe should have caught on.

Skipping to everyone getting their signets, I didn't understand why that one dude had to die for reading thoughts but Dain can just touch someone and see what they know, get fundamentally why they did it but??????????????????? Yall obviously do not care ab winning the battle if you gonna kill every cadet. Also why had no one discharged Barlowe for KILLING at least a quarter of first years pls, like why is he just allowed to do this?

About Violet and Xadens relationship, they piss me off lol. They remind me of that one couple in high school that are toxic and should NOT be together and they make it everyone else's problem. Only this is worse they are adults and have powers. I love them separately but together they just annoy me, I might be alone in this and that's fine by me. "I can't separate feelings from sex." Girl fuck feelings you could die the next day!!!! I will say though Violence being her nickname made me chuckle i feel like there are at least seven people (considering most of the cadets are dead atp lol) that are scarier than her.

Also fuck Dain.

While I liked Fourth Wing I feel like some parts dragged I could'nt find myself overly interested until Liam nearly died and Violet absolutely DEMOLISHED Barlowe (thank god). From here it picked up. Imma make this last part quick bc im typing this in class as we speak, but!!!

Xaden and the others have their own separate movement? Predictable, are they working with the gryphon fliers? Now admittedly it should have been obvious when they talked about dragons already knowing the wards were gonna fail but for me, it was an afterthought kind of thing. Dain reading Vi's memories? I. Fucking. Knew it! Slimey bitch.

Aretia being rebuilt? Ngl it's very unrealistic to me that no one is checking to make sure that place stayed rubble. Most mfs would have made a momument out of it for Navvare that's just lazyyy. Brennnan being alive? Man, I knew it. The millisecond that interaction happened with Xaden and Violet she was like "Well you killed my brother so we even," and he said "Hardly." I knew. Bc that is such an intentional word to use with someone who is grieving her dead brother and you say "hardly?" Yeah, I knew Brennan wasn't dead right then and there.

Anyway, I'm going to wrap this review up here because I really need to lock in in class, lol. Overall, out of 5, I gave the fourth wing a 2.5. In my mind, this isn't a bad score; I just wasn't as personally engaged in it as I would have liked to be.

Now I've already finished Iron flame and that will be next so hopefully like a week from now I'll be posting about that.

Yap sesh over!

[theowritesfiction]

As promised here’s my ask/revue of chapter 29. And to preface, the was amazing.

I read and enjoyed the last chapter. (29) Plus getting a glimpse into a conflicted Katara who is jealous but also doesn’t want her friend(s) ending up hurt was great to read. And have I mentioned that I love jealous Katara who wants Azula all to herself? Cause I love jealous Katara who wants Azula all to herself.

“Obviously, Katara felt terrible for even thinking about hooking up with Azula during this sensitive drama, but her heart had no way of denying what she wanted” - I admit I started smirking at this line. Odviosily I want best girls to get together, the road to get there (despite being bumpy at times) is also just so incredibly satisfying. I swear Azutara slow burn is one of the best things in this world. Though some times Azutara getting together quickly is also satisfying. Like in Juniperhill “The dievil you know”. Perhaps it’s a contradiction to like both, but I own to that. Azutara dynamics are just the gods gift to the world.

I also especially loved the moment were Zirin is complaining that Azula is talking Katara, Yue, and Suki a bit too much. And when Azula took her sarcastic remark as a good ahead to talk about the love (and lusts) of her life made me burst out laughing.

I laughter even harder when Zirin spells out what was wrong, accosted Azula about being too obsessed with Katara, Yue, and Suki (and Kya the budding Pai Sho Genius!) and stormed off. And Azula still didn’t know what the fuck she talking about!

Yes Azula do be honest with yourself. Katara is your preferred option every time. Please continue the introspection when Sober and hungover in the morning. Maybe you preferring Katara over anyone else has something to do with Zirin throwing wine in your face?

I smirked when exasperated Katara got out of bed to pick up drunk Azula.

Yue wanting to help Suki with her foster sister was really sweet. Kya wanting to burn the gifts is sad, but eerily reminiscent of Azula herself. It also reminds of the last chapter, which was amazing (as always) but also depressing. And I’m adult enough to admit that I was bawling in time with Kya and Azula in the last chapter.

Of course Azula found a bowling alley despite being drunk of her ass. Best girl is just that person ain’t she? Except when it comes to bowling itself, cause other best girls got her beat. Speaking of that I’m sure the tongue lashing that Katara gave was one for the history books. With Azula probably think of bowling alleys and how pretty Katara’s eyes are in the night, the whole time. Oh! And throwing up on her bowling ball.

Azutara adventure ending with peaceful walk in the night and violence against an unwanted pervert? Sign me up.

“Who knows," Katara laughed, looking like she was really enjoying herself”. My cheeks are starting to hurt after grinning so much this chapter.

Azula and Katara’s little conversation in the end was very sweet. Azula being determined to get Hakoda to the Fire Nation so that she could 1 see how her interacts with his children, and 2 see Katara’s smile as being reunited with the father she misses was adorable. As was Katara and Azula’s talk about having a “regular” sleep over. And the mental image of Katara tucking Azula in, or cuddling with her.

I’m glad Ty Lee wasn’t involved in the Blue spirits orgy. Sokka doesn’t deserve to be done like that. Though Mai being engaged to Roun Jan is bound to bring interesting happenings… also Mai is absolutely right. Zuko is a hypocrite that lacks introspection.

This chapter was awesome, and I loved all the sweet Azutara moments! I’m also glad for Suki/Yue. Both pairings deserve to be with someone who will love them wholly and utterly. Know we only need for Azula to get her out of ditch… easier said than done I bet! Can’t wait for the next update!

Hey, thank you so much for the review!

Indeed, we love jealous Katara. I think especially because Katara being such a sweet person, would feel very guilty for the way jealousy makes her feel, and I just love that kind of internal conflict for a character.

interesting that you would mention the Azutara dynamics and slow vs quick burn, because @juniperhillpatient and I were just talking about that recently, and coming away with the conclusion that it really depends on the circumstances in which we place our characters. sometimes driven by codependency they will come together very quickly, and sometimes when there's less pressure on them, slow burn makes a lot of sense. these girls are very versatile about their dynamics. <3

I always love it when a totally self-unaware Azula is gushing about her crushes. It's just something that fits her so well. :)

Yes, the drama with Azula, Yue and Kya was intended to be a bit of a tear-jerker, I'm afraid! Too bad for Kya, because she'll have to wait for another parental figure a little longer, but at least we're on the right track now that Suki and Yue are starting to bond more closely. Also, I'm sure she'll eventually have a lot of fun with all those expensive gifts.

I think with how tipsy Azula was, Katara yelling at her was pretty ineffective, so Katara probably didn't waste too much of her energy there. ;) But like... I just wanted them to spend some time together where their interactions weren't overwhelmingly dominated by lust. It felt important to show that they also work together very well on the level of friendship. Of course, the attraction is pretty obvious anyway. You can see that in how sweet they are with each other. ;)

Oh don't worry, Ty Lee might be a bit airheaded in this story, but she wouldn't cheat on Sokka. Also, I'm sure Mai is going to break off her engagement as soon as she slaps Ruon Jian awake XD and yup, I'm pretty sure Zuko will hypocritically throw a tantrum when he hears about the orgy

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and seeing some of the building blocks for more serious Azutara and Yueki relationships further down the road :) but I'm enjoying taking my time with it, so the slowburns will continue for some time still!

[slowdripsunrise]

BOOK REVIEW AGAINNNNNNN yippee i have actually been reading... not a lot but well i am ! kinda forgot about this blog ok thats not true i was just lazy and didnt want to write a post. well anyways heres a big post for all the stories i read there are 4 - things have gotten worse since we last spoke by eric larocca, paradise rot by jenny hval, soft science by franny choi, and the country will bring us no peace by matthieu simard ! spoilers under the cut

ok first i read things have gotten worse since we last spoke because i wanted to go on a little kick of reading weird crazy people books at 3 am. and i did! chose this one because i saw it was very short so. anyways i thought this was.... okay. i think what made it a little worse off for me is that i already knew about the whole parasite thing from tiktok, so it wasnt that crazy to me when it actually happened. gonna be honest i do Not remember how the book ends at all so i dont even know if it was satisfying or not. was my experience worsened by it being 3am and me not having any thoughts at all? probably. would i do it again? yeah. i was a lil bit disappointed in the apple peeler part too... i thought it was going to be more relevant than it was unless there are some hidden symbolism meanings motifs going on that i didnt get... actually now that im thinking about it big long unbroken peels of apple + a big long probably worm-like parasite? next to each other thats kinda cool. other than that thought i literally just had now typing this out i didnt see anything else. omg speaking of seeing the tagline and also its mentioned in the book, "what did you do today to deserve your eyes?" crazy ass fuck sentence. i kinda love it actually and this is maybe where i would have like to see the apple peeler come in. she takes the apple peeler to her face and peels her eyes out of her head idk. also i feel like either on tiktok/goodreads they were supposed to be ballerinas? but that wasnt mentioned at ALL? i might be misremembering but that also could have been a cool little anecdote. anyways all this to say i thought the book was alright. i was entertained for like 2 hours. my favorite part of this experience was going on goodreads after and seeing a one star review of the book that just said "men stop writing trauma porn about lesbians." which is SO FUCKING FUNNY. because 1 im pretty sure the author is nonbinary, so hes not a man. 2. WHO IS GETTING OFF TO THIS. sorry i do absolutely not see any fetishization here, and also i think they write stories like this in like collections,, so there are probably people other than lesbians in them. idk i just thought that was funny. jesus christ this is getting long and i'm only 1/4 done. i pity anyone who opens this.

next i read paradise rot by jenny hval, which i had heard was dubbed the "bisexual piss book" intriguing and also a short little story i read at 3am. i did like this one, i thought it was fun and interesting and im a big fan of rot. just in general. vibes were on point. this book was moist. however, not as much piss as i expected. as in like quantities on page. they did talk about piss a lot and by they i mean the narrator. not as horror-esque as i thought it would be but i did like it! ohhh to simply rot away...... would not recommend this to normal people and i like that about it.

soft science by franny choi !!!! really liked this! im going to be honest i do not remember more than one poem from this collection. but i do remember liking them !!! sorry i think i need to train my brain to like and remember poetry more. and not just like the ones from tumblr webweaves even though all of them slay.

finally i read the country will bring us no peace by matthieu simard. i liked this, thought it was super interesting,,, ok i didnt think it was super interesting i thought it was good. god i am trying to program myself out of academic reviews of stupid dumbass books i was forced to read. this isn't like that at all. anyways i thought the whole grief aspect was done very well, the sadness at knowing literally nothing will work or come together to make your life go back to the way it was, go back to being whole again. and that deep deep sadness of not only losing their daughter but also the life they had before, the life they had with each other,,, losing all hope. it definitely got to me i did almost cry i think. i think i have more to say about this but i don't remember it. oh well. i thought the vibes of a hostile small mountain town were cool ! i think one of my favorite scenes was when the lavoie's kid falls from the antenna and they are just standing there doing nothing and simon has to go save him... idk the fact that they were shown as perfect parents for their perfect children and how not great they actually were <- this thought is dumb and obvious you get what im saying. one of my main issues is that the ending did feel rushed... and i was a bit confused,,,, the last line "a bird starts to sing" i couldn't tell if that was meant to be marie and simon hearing birds in the afterlife, in the woods by the bowling alley? or was that just the birds in the town finally starting to sing? because if its the latter i don't really get how simon and marie dying would bring the birds back.. the town is still dying and tragedies will still happen... idk its probably the birds in the afterlife but oh well. ok final thought i think but i think the title in french is interesting. it's called "ici, ailleurs" which means "here, elsewhere" or more like "here, something better. here, a new beginning." i like that, obviously it's what the book is about, and idk i think the translator did a good job at conveying the message. i think i would read this book again but in french, mostly to practice because my french is shit but i think since it only really stays in one setting, there's not a lot of characters, concepts are pretty easy to understand, i think it would be fun !!!! ok im done those are my reviews of all the books ive read in the past week or so thanks to anyone who reads this whole thing you are crazy. peace and love

[yakdeculture]

Monochrome Mobius: Rights and Rongs Forgotten Review

before finishing: I’m up to chapter 7 I think so I’m probably 60~70 percent through the game I’m like level 40 or something honestly I think I overleveled because its like kind of easy to do it’s pretty easy when the world first opens up and you have to go to the forrest you can basically explore the entire first section of the map because the enemies are all around the same level so if you kind of just wander around looking for stuff because you play the game absentmindedly because the story is like nothing at that point you get to the point where when you attack an enemy on the feild you autokill them and it comes pretty easy to just kill everything you see like that and farm way more xp than the game expects you to for pretty much the whole game I feel like I’ve been 5 levels ahead of what it thinks you will be like the sidequests give recommended levels and I’m pretty much always over it by at least 3. Anyways I think this game is very up and down tha main story is pretty interesting but there are multiple times when it kind of just comes to a halt. I mean I guess this is pretty normal for Utawarerumono in Prelude the middle part of the game is basically just fighting jobbers, Mask of Deception is basically just Haku chilling for a while, and then in this one its like okay the gang needs to become stronger so you can’t really advance the plot but also half the stuff you do is like you don’t really feel like you’re getting stronger you go train under Dikotoma and that’s cool but also I don’t think you ever do any actually on screen training with him. In general I think this game is very hit or miss with its presentation it feels like it doesn’t always know how to take advantage of having actual character models they can use to show things and they also don’t take advantage of the more ADV text sections because the CGs are pretty scarce and also there aren't that many expressions the characters do so its just like. Kind of clear they probably didn’t have the budget or experience to make this kind of game I’m making it sound like it sucks ass and it doesn’t its fine but I started playing this again because there’s going to be a new one and I hope they learned something from this one and make it better because it looks like we have older versions of some of the characters and if we waste beautiful 30 year old Kuon I’m probably going to end it all. There are a lot of scenes in the middle of this game where it’s like Hey remember Mask of Deception? Remember when this happened? And it’s like wait I do. That’s crazy. But the game is pretty good I will finish it.

after finishing: I immediately went back to playing this after like 2 years of no progress because as soon as Uta 4: Morbius 2 was announced I was like OH FUCK and I had to beat this and I’m glad I did holy fuck the story was, much like 1 and 2, kind of nothing for half the game and but the other half, especially towards the end, holy fuck peak blast dude. I really didnt know anything about what happened in this game and I think thats because its a mix of like basic stuff some general winks and nods and references that are like hey remember these bits from 2? Lets start them here! But like i had no concept of what this game would do for the overall lore of the series and i definitely had no idea that this had like some of the most insane sequel bait of all time. I am genuinely really excited to see where this series goes and what Uta 4 can do to build on the stuff this game has and sets up. Like its gonna be absolutely crazy unfortunately I dont think I have anyone to talk about what the implications of any of this stuff could mean and what could be in store so basically what I’m saying is i need my uta fan friends to play this game. Yes the gameplay is pretty mid not bad but definitely rough definitely their first crack at this but trust me bro. At the very least watch the Full Game Cutscene + extras youtube video wherever that may be

[10-days-of-freakin-olives]

I don't normally post about politics, and this isn't gonna be a common thing, but I need to talk about it somewhere.

Had a guy come into the restaurant yesterday wearing a Trump hat.

I'm not for Trump. I'm adamantly against Trump. And normally, I'm all for calling out people who are being weird. But they weren't causing problems for the restaurant, so I just served them as I serve everyone else, because that's what my employer requires, and they ate and left.

But the thing is, the whole time, I wasn't thinking about how they might tip or review me, because per company policy, I wasn't wearing anything that would indicate any political affiliation. We had a whole module about "election etiquette" and what not to say or do and how to de-escalate confrontations and how to refuse service to aggressive or unruly customers etc etc. I wasn't worried about any of that. After the initial "okay they're gonna be chill", I didn't even think about it.

I was thinking about the other customers watching me be just as polite and personable with them as I was with everyone else and worrying it might affect how they saw me, which affects how they tip and review me. I might not have been projecting any particular political affiliations, but that Trumper was. And I'm not interested in people-pleasing or letting anyone make me feel ashamed of literally just doing my job, but I had six other tables and I have no idea what they thought of me. I was too busy to check how they tipped. I won't know about the surveys until next week.

I'm a progressive. Trump is the antithesis of everything I stand for and believe in and too many of the people who support him would probably like to see my pagan trans socialist ass dead in a ditch. But I'm also a tipped worker who just wants to pay my bills. And I just think it kind of sucks that there might have been people there willing to punish me for doing my job impartially.

Idk just...venting. There's nothing to really be done about it, I just wish I could trust people to understand nuance, especially the people who claim to be "on my side".

C'est la vie. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[jeramewrites2]

Current Reading, pg 52.

There has been a fair amount going on for the last few weeks in the news and everywhere for everyone. For me personally I finished a semester at Texas Tech as a distance learner and didn't really enjoy my classes. I took the intro to Women's and Gender Studies class as well as a Logic class.

The intro class was fine but had a little too much white feminism for me. There was a fair amount on trying not to center the white voice in liberation spaces but it was still coming from a very colonized mindset. I think it is a good intro class but I learned more about me and myself by the gender study class that I took at ASU. That had nothing to do with the class and 100% to do with the book we read. (Gender: Ideas, Interactions, Institutions) That is a book that I would recommend to any cis person looking to understand the history and how gender is A) a social construct and B) how we don't always see how that informs out thoughts and feelings and personalities.

The Logic class I can't really give anyone any crap about that. I was talking to my advisor and I needed one more math credit and she suggested a philosophy class LOGIC. I figured ok I have enjoyed philosophy classes in the past and I don't really get how that counts as a math class but whatever sounds good. (I was not aware of the mathematical concept of logic. Obviously.) So I gotta say that one is on me. I probably should have investigated a little further into what I was getting into.

My brain was melting pretty much the whole time. The professor is a hard ass and did not accept late work and was just mostly stringent about work. There was very little extra credit and there was the possibility for help but they where office hours that you could go to but as a distance learner that works full time it was hard for me to zoom into those times. Again that one is on me and not his fault. Ultimately he graded the class on a pretty stiff curve. I do not think that I did A- work but that is the grade that I received.

After classes where over I was ready to get back into reading. If you have looked I have shared the two "reviews" for the two books I have read so far. One was The Poppy War and the other Confessions. I am a slow reader and at one point in my life my teachers thought that I might be dyslexic. I guess at some point I might actually want to get a true diagnosis but at 41 years is there a reason for that? The more I read the faster I get and my comprehension continues to improve as well as my spelling.

I picked up this Connie Willis novel because I REALLY enjoyed Doomsday Book and wanted to continue in that world. I didn't expect the comedic aspect of this new one. I have read Hitchhiker's and am a Terry Pratchett fan but I am having a hard time getting into this one. I am going to keep going and see what I think of it. I am hardly even 10% into the book so I still have a long way to go.

Right now I am making some rye bread and listening to a playlist of music from my library that I have 0 plays for. This playlist is a full day long so I will see if I ever finish this but so far.... it's fine. The albums are all in my library so at some point I was interested in the music but not necessarily drawn to those specific tracks.

I wish you all a happy and healthy Sunday.

As always Thanks for Reading.

[caelestis-composition]

killshot anon! YEAH i totally agree w/ your view on kaeya. it's so weird to me that people will blame him for his role in a situation he was forced into as a child through no choice of his own. that itself had to be traumatic, not to mention everything that happened later. i hate when people say he's untrustworthy - like yeah, he's lied, so has everyone? it's clear he does it mostly to protect himself. not to mention that (& sadism) can be symptoms of trauma. kaeya deserves nothing but happiness

take a seat folks it’s time for a “brynn should’ve been an english major” lesson! today we’re gonna learn some literary theory; specifically, we’re gonna apply psychoanalytical trauma theory to kaeya’s backstory and current character. killshot anon i bet you never thought this would result in a whole ass essay.

disclaimer one! you are allowed to dislike kaeya! i am not saying you need to like him or his character, you’re entitled to your opinion and i’m not here to change your mind.

disclaimer two! i am in no way an expert and this is all for fun! this is just my silly little analysis of one of my favorite characters as someone who’s studied literary theory and rhetoric and can also apply personal experience. seriously analysis is like a hobby to me and this is just an excuse for me to ramble about kaeya.

disclaimer three! this contains lots of spoilers! basically for everything we know in-game, general knowledge as well as stuff from his voicelines and character story. don’t read this if you don’t want spoilers.

since this is going to be filled with spoilers and is about to get really long, everything will be under a cut. for those who wanna read my dumb super informal essay: enjoy!

final note: yeah this is over 2000 words long can you tell i like analysis

⭒

let’s start by getting a quick rundown of trauma theory out of the way. to begin, what is “trauma?” in this case, trauma is going to refer to an experience that greatly affects and changes one’s life; attitudes, memories, behaviors, mental state, etc. while not all changes may be bad, per se, the overall effect of trauma is generally a negative one, which is why it’s so significant. literary trauma theory, then, explores these changes and the impact of trauma in literature. it analyzes the psychological and social effects of trauma, explaining what those effects are and why they happen. in the context of a specific character, trauma theory breaks down said character’s behaviors, feelings, and general mentality in relation to their past experiences; trauma theory hopes to explain to others the reasons for why a character may act or feel the way they do, all based upon the character’s experiences, particularly traumatic ones. our character today is the lovely kaeya alberich, with the “literature” being genshin impact. i’ll be referencing kaeya’s wiki page to ensure i get all details correct for his character story and voicelines.

it would be good to review kaeya’s backstory before delving into the actual analysis. though we don’t know much about his life before living in mondstadt, we’re told he was sent as an agent of khaenri’ah. and by “sent,” i mean his biological father abandoned him in a completely unfamiliar land to serve khaenri’ah’s interests and fullfil his mission—what this entirely entails hasn’t been revealed. mondstadt, however, welcomed kaeya “with open arms when they found him.” crepus ragnvindr took him in as his adopted son, with diluc as his adopted brother. kaeya and diluc were “almost like twins,” so close they “[knew] each other’s thoughts and intentions without a word.” he’d began a new life in mondstadt, one surrounded by friends and family that loved him; one that was completely shattered by crepus’s death. kaeya arrived at the scene of the disaster, and was led to believe diluc was the one who killed their father to “set his father free” from the effects of his delusion. there’d always been one big question in kaeya’s life: if it came down to it, who would he support? the nation that abandoned him, but he still felt loyal to, or the nation and family that took him in and really loved him? overrun with guilt, kaeya confessed his purpose to diluc, sparking a fight between the two brothers. in this fight, kaeya receives his cryo vision. though both brothers stepped away alive, they’ve never been able to make peace with one another. now, kaeya is the eccentric and charming cavalry captain of the knights of favonius; a man who gets his way by using any means necessary, regardless of whether or not it seems right.

kaeya’s not evil; he’s morally ambiguous, and that stems from what appears to be a general distrust of others. his life is one shrouded in secrecy. from the moment he stepped foot into mondstadt, he was surrounded by secrets. even now, he doesn’t talk about a lot of things, namely his past, vision, and feelings. though he’s always willing to get information out of others, kaeya never reveals anything about himself. he repeatedly tells the player they can confide in him, but whenever you try and pry into his life, he deflects your questions with some sort of witty comment or flirty remark. anything he does reveal is vague, or spoken in some sort of “code.” for example, his “interesting things” voiceline. he tells us about the owl of dragonspine, how it “seems to look right through you, while letting go of none of its own secrets,” and then tacks on a “quite fascinating, don’t you think?” it seems like an awfully accurate parallel to himself; kaeya does all he can to get information from others, but never gives anything about himself. now, this whole thing—his relationship with diluc falling apart and his need for secrecy—could have probably been avoided if he had just come clean about his mission years ago. so why didn’t he? to start, kaeya was a literal child. not only are children unable to properly tell the difference between right and wrong, but they’ll also typically follow their parents’ orders blindly. kaeya had just been abandoned, and he wouldn’t want to risk being cast out by mondstadt as well if he came clean right away. you see, there’s this thing about trauma, something that trauma theory states. traumatized people feel a sort of shame or guilt regarding their traumatic experience; they’ll keep quiet because they don’t want to cause problems or bother others with their issues. of course kaeya wouldn’t tell the truth about his past, he doesn’t want to destroy the genuinely loving relationships he’d built in mondstadt. his fight with diluc only proves what he was afraid of: if he’s honest, he’ll be abandoned again. and if kaeya’s used to all the lies, why should he bother changing?

another thing, if he’s not going to tell the truth, then why would he have initially gone along with his father’s plans? again, he was a child. he really had no choice, and was forced into a very wrong and cruel situation. there’s a good explanation for this, too, which is also stated in trauma theory; traumatized people will still do their best to please their abusers. especially if said abuser is a parent, that will drive traumatized people to work even harder to please them. although his father hurt him by ruthlessly abandoning him, kaeya still sought to make him and his homeland proud. he was willing to be used as a tool for their gain; that is, until he found people who actually cared about him. he was an impressionable child, of course he’s going to obey orders. but as he gets older, he feels torn. does he serve those who abandoned him, or those that took him in? his father—and arguably, khaenri’ah as a whole—hurt him, sure, but he still feels some loyalty and connection to his former home. instead of revealing anything, he lets the situation play out. that way, he can’t be blamed when things fall apart.

the thing about claiming he’s untrustworthy is that hardly anyone in-game believes that. he’s adored by the older folks in mondstadt, and foes and allies alike find him easy to talk to. despite seeming lazy and uninterested in work, kaeya takes his job very seriously. in fact, his story states that crepus’s death was the “first and only time kaeya failed in his duty.” the “only time” is especially important, because it signifies kaeya still fulfills his duties successfully. he’s had a total of one slip-up, and hasn’t failed since. no, kaeya is not untrustworthy. rather, kaeya finds everyone else untrustworthy. it’s not unlikely that this is a direct consequence of being abandoned as a child. although it’s been established that kaeya and diluc were very close as children, when crepus dies, kaeya assumes diluc is the one that killed him. in order to jump to such an extreme conclusion against someone he was so close to, there had to be some underlying sense of distrust. furthermore, kaeya expresses feeling as though he doesn’t belong anywhere. he was abandoned by khaenri’ah, and then worried he wouldn’t be accepted by mondstadt. he is, but there’s still that worry. if you place him in your teapot as a companion, he tells you that your home feels like someplace he belongs, following it up with a “heh, who’d have thought…” kaeya still feels as though he doesn’t belong in mondstadt; despite the fact that he’s a high-ranking knight of favonius and rather popular, he still feels like an outsider. he doesn’t trust that anyone actually wants him around, and he finds joy in testing peoples’ trustworthiness. it’s noted in his story and through his voicelines that the beloved cavalry captain has a rather sadistic nature. he likes putting people into difficult situations, to see what decisions they will make. he does this to both opponents and allies, testing to see who’s going to back out and who’ll keep fighting; in the sake of allies, who can he trust? or who will turn tail and abandon their teammates at the slightest hint of danger? i mentioned it previously, but kaeya doesn’t care what measures he has to take so long as his job gets done and he gets the answers he wants. it’s a sort of self-preserving mindset, putting himself above the safety of others. kaeya’s trying to protect himself, which makes sense with all he’s been through. he doesn’t want to be hurt, and instead finds pleasure in threatening harm upon others. it’s twisted, sure, but it’s because he can only trust himself in a world that he believes is out to get him. he’s got as many enemies—if not more—as he does allies; of course kaeya focuses on protecting himself first, whether physically or through keeping his secrets, well, secret.

his most obvious traumatic effect is definitely his alcoholism. but he uses it as a distraction, not just to wallow in self-pity. this is seen again in his story, particularly in story 3. it’s found that when his favorite drink, death after noon, is out of season, mondstadt’s crime rate is decreased drastically. at face value, this just means kaeya spends more time working when death after noon is low in supply. but kaeya doesn’t skip work to go to taverns; it’s already been established he takes his job very seriously, so this means he actually patrols and tracks down threats while off work when he can’t indulge in his favorite alcoholic drink. he doesn’t get drunk simply because he’s depressed. if he did, there wouldn’t be a drop in incidents when death after noon is out of season. no, kaeya uses both the alcohol and fighting to distract himself. after all, it’s a little hard to think about feeling sad when you’re either drunk out of your mind or fighting for your life.

despite being so secretive, kaeya gives us glimpses of his true emotions from time to time. as previously mentioned, his flirty attitude is nothing more than a mask to hide how he really feels; and kaeya is terribly, terribly lonely. that may be why he seems so extroverted. constantly being around people should, logically, drive away that feeling, but it doesn’t work like that. when he talks with the player, he frequently expresses disappointment when you have to leave. each time, though, he dampens the weight of his words with playful or flirty language. he’s lonely, but doesn’t want you to know that, like he’s afraid of asking you to stay. he takes the seriousness of his feelings, and basically bends it into some sort of lighthearted joke. kaeya hides his true feelings—negative feelings, to be exact—so that he doesn’t bother anyone. which is, again, something that happens with traumatized people. he displays that hesitance to reveal his true feelings, because there’s a shame or guilt that comes with his past. he doesn’t want to bother others or hold them back, so he puts on a smile and amps up the charisma. one other very important thing—but very small detail—i would like to note is his feelings toward family. his fell apart not even once, but twice, and kaeya still holds familial relationships in high regard. we know he doesn’t exactly care how he goes about getting his work done. he doesn’t pay attention to what’s “right” or “wrong,” so long as he gets what he needs. but one of his informants, vile, notes that the cavalry captain has one exception: he won’t work with those who threaten others’ families. in fact, kaeya claims those who do should be hunted down and destroyed. even though his own families have caused him so much pain—and he ended up estranged from both—he still understands the importance of having people who love you in your life. because he didn’t get that.

kaeya’s not evil. ultimately, as a knight of favonius, his goal is to protect others, because no one was there to protect him. and because no one was there to protect him, because he’s been hurt time and time again by people who were supposed to love him, kaeya has taken to protecting himself. he hides any and all negative feelings with a charismatic, friendly façade, because he thinks it’ll drive away his persistent loneliness. any “bad” actions of his were hardly his fault; he was forced into a life of secrecy and lies, and then abandoned by the first people who truly loved him. kaeya’s a multi-faceted, tragic character, one that toes the line between good and evil, and that’s what makes him so interesting.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I’m sorry, but can I just go on a little rant about the Louis, clouis, and the Clem comic...? 

I didn’t really talk about Louis in my overall review of the comic because I wanted that to be more contained to the content shown on the pages, Clementine’s relationship with AJ, and her as a character.... but the more I think about these comics and Louis, the more frustrated I become thinking about what Clementine abandoning everyone would do to him. 

[... okay it’s not little anymore since I guess I can never just do anything simple when it comes to Louis, sorry my bad]

So, no surprise, we all know the comic’s bullshit by now. Clementine leaving everything and everyone behind because she’s not happy is dumb, AJ just letting her go is dumb, and Clem going to the mountains on crutches and a peg leg to find this so-called happiness is dumb. 

Now that we’ve established it’s dumb, I wanna talk about Louis because I got a lot of built up feelings about how bullshit this storyline is with how Clementine would not only abandon AJ, but also abandon Louis. 

Because let me tell you..... his heart would be broken beyond repair and I need to talk about why.

Sigh.... so.... muh boy. 

Before he met Clementine, Louis was this laidback, irresponsible, but caring and musical person who kept his head down to avoid conflict and never looked at the future. He was the kind of person who took things one day at a time, saw survival as a day-to-day task, and said that the future doesn’t exist, there’s only today. You get the point, he was never too concerned with things because they always seemed to work out, and if they didn’t, then that sucks and that’s why we should appreciate every day while we have it. 

Louis is shown to be charismatic and friendly, he spends his free time playing piano and card games, but no one really takes him seriously. Not even Marlon, his best friend for 8+ years. While he doesn’t seem to be on bad terms with anyone [including Aasim, they just act like people who disagree with the other’s point of view and have had the same argument many times, but that doesn’t mean they hate each other, y’know?] he also doesn’t appear super close with anyone outside of Marlon and possibly Violet, but even then. 

Marlon’s shown to have little faith in him with the way he talks about if Louis will even show up to hunt. He has a controlling grip on Louis that’s prominent during the confrontation scene when he uses intimidation to try to convince Louis to not interfere. Oh, and there’s the fact that Marlon’s been lying to Louis for the past year about the twins and then continued to lie to his face about what really happened to Brody... which isn’t great when you consider how Louis was the only one who had blind faith in him as a leader and, according to Marlon, was the only one who couldn’t see how pathetic he always was. 

Violet, while having a few more nicer moments with him than Marlon, still invalidates him and his feelings several times throughout the first half of the game which makes me wonder how close they ever were, or at least if Violet ever considered him a close friend to begin with. And no, a small monologue in the dorms doesn’t make everything better or confirm they were brotp the whole time... especially when once they’re on the boat, Louis might as well not exist because Violet can’t be bothered to acknowledge what happened to him or inquire about how he’s doing. I guess she just didn’t have time react while standing in her cell for several unbothered minutes-- no wait, it’s she already reacted off screen. Right. Good writing is good.

What I’m getting at here is that even though Louis is surrounded by people who he genuinely cares about, there is an argument to be made that he’s a lonely person. Hell, he’s aware of his loneliness when he says that no one hears past his music and jokes. I mean, how many nights do you think he spent by himself playing the piano because no one wanted to hear it? Are they like Violet and crack jokes about how he doesn’t have actual talent? Probably, given that someone literally carved “you suck at playing” onto the side of the damn piano. 

Oh, and let’s touch on that backstory of his. Louis grew up wealthy with two parents who loved him and each other, and they gave him anything he wanted except singing lessons. Louis says he wanted to be a real musician. But I guess his father didn’t like that idea and told him no, with the [as Louis puts it] dumb dad lesson of, “You get to be happy, or you get to be rich, can’t be both.” ...which is interesting given that Louis and his family were stupid rich but also.... were they not happy? well, that doesn’t make sense because little Louis knew that if he broke up their marriage, they would be hurt. 

So yeah, Louis was so upset that his father continually refused to let him take singing lessons that he broke into the man’s credit cards and faked an affair, which led to his parents divorcing... and then he spit his father’s words back in his face. 

Then they dumped him at Ericson. And the walkers came. 

There’s so much to unpack from the story he tells that it could be it’s own analysis, but basically.... Louis is aware of why what he did was fucked up, and he carries it with him every day. 

He regrets what he did, chews himself out for being such a “vindictive fuckhead” [and the amount of force used in that line tells you a lot, like how it’s not the first time he’s chastised himself like this] and he admits that he doesn’t even know the person he’s talking about. Yet, he still sees himself as bad, saying that they [I assume the staff] told him and the other kids they’re bad people. I don’t doubt that Louis internalized that which played a huge role in the confidence and self-esteem issues he has during tfs. 

Anyway, I’ll come back to this later, but when you take that amount of guilt and regret, and mix it with the fact that they dropped him off at this school that was supposed to make him better.... then the walkers came and those teachers, staff, and headmaster? Gone. Left a bunch of kids to fend for themselves, with the exception of Ms. Martin [but given how she looks when we find her I doubt she lasted that long] and I cannot imagine how horrifying that was for all of them. The dead are up eating people, and if you die you become one of them... and the people you thought you could rely on just fucking left you to die at this school. 

Every kid in that school has trauma and abandonment issues from before and after the world went to shit, every last one, and Louis isn’t the exception here. Over the years, a lot of kids died and they’ve all seen horrible shit. They all knew they were never going to see their families again, and as far as we know, no one came to get their kids at the beginning. They had to find ways of coping while trying to survive, and all they had left was each other. 

Louis copes with music and games and jokes. He’s built up this persona where it seems like he’s unaffected by the comments the others make, that the death and suffering he’s gone through is in the past, that he is confident and open to those around him.

But then Clementine and AJ show up, and Louis grows close with both of them. They had immediate chemistry upon first meeting, he was the one who looked after AJ since it seems like everyone else saw him as a little terror, and he went out of his way to be kind and make them comfortable. 

When they go hunting with him, Louis and Clementine have a moment after taking care of the walker where they lower their guards a bit-- Louis gives her more in-depth reasons for his views of survival, and going off her expression, it gets to her and makes her think.... but they’ve know each other a day and he’s not quick to infodump his life story or let her in, so he cuts the conversation short.

Then we have the Marlon confrontation scene that I have gone over so many times in the past. I won’t dillydally with it too long but..... Clementine appeals to Louis, who curls in on himself because of the control Marlon has on him. He wants to help, and hell, he knows this is wrong but he’s so used to not getting involved that he gets defensive.... plus, he’s known Clementine for two days, and he’s known Marlon for 8+ years.... he wants to believe Marlon but you can tell he doesn’t want this, either. It takes Clementine talking to him to give him courage to stand between her and Marlon’s gun and it’s a lot.

AJ shoots Marlon and everything goes to shit, and Louis is a goddamn mess. His best friend was murderer right in front of him, so add that to the trauma list, and he’s overwhelmed with all these feelings that again.... they keep getting invalidated by Violet because “Marlon was a liar and murderer, therefore you shouldn’t feel bad about his death. Get over yourself, Louis, you can be such a shithead sometimes.” 

Oh yeah Vi, I guess he should care more about two people he’s known for a total of two days rather than for the safety of the people [including you] he’s grown up with and cared about for 8+ years.... makes sense. 

So yeah, little to no support during this time. Alone again. 

And just because I have to make this clear so no one gets a hair up their ass-- both Louis and Violet are wrong here. Kicking them out isn’t the solution, but neither is acting like AJ was right to commit murder just because it was Marlon.

 But plots gotta plot, so they get voted out and you can see that Louis is conflicted about the whole thing. He wants them gone, but at the same time, he knows what kicking them out means. You can see it on his face that he’s not okay with kicking them out. He’s hurting when he’s there in the dorms telling them how the vote went... he literally doesn’t know what else to do. He just knows that everything hurts, Clem and AJ caused it, and he wants the pain to stop. He even tries to justify it to himself by figuring that they’ve done this before so they’ll be fine. Not a great thing to say, Lou. 

Anyway, we know the story, Clem and AJ come back and Louis once again sees the consequences of acting out of pain.... AJ is shot because Louis was hurt and he made a bad decision that he’s gotta live with.... something that he’s done before, and this affirms to him that he’s bad. He wishes he could take it back, and goes as far as to admit that to Clementine during the archery scene. 

By the way, credit to him for his apology to her. It’s rare in these games that Clem gets a genuine apology from someone who hurt her and doesn’t turn around to repeat the hurtful behavior, y’know? Plus, I can think of plenty of characters who owed Clem an apology in the past or if they did apologize, it was half-assed. 

You can feel how conflicted he is with this whole thing-- learning who Marlon really was and what he did, feeling something for Clementine before everything went down and not knowing how to handle those feelings afterward, caring about AJ and understanding why he thought shooting was the best choice but still hurting that his friend is dead.... 

And the thing is.... Louis forgives her for so much, as she does him, and through all of that bullshit, they manage to develop that strong connection that turns romantic. Louis lets himself be fully vulnerable with her and is honest about his feelings, how she listened when no one else did and seeing him for more than just the persona he put on. 

This works on Clementine’s side, too. Clementine has been through her own fair share of bullshit-- trauma, abandonment, loss, injury, you name it. She’s made mistakes, done terrible things, and has been in enough groups to know that romance usually ends in heartbreak.... and yet, she’s willing to open herself up to Louis and admit she feels a lot for him. 

Is it a little rushed? Yep. Could it have been handled better? Of course, most things this season could’ve, but what we got was pretty good. 

So Clementine and Louis are romantically involved now, the raiders attack, and she saves him... and boy does Louis feel guilty about that one, too. He feels bad enough that he questions why she would pick him because he can’t fathom his life being worth saving over another’s. He doesn’t see himself as useful, and even though Clementine is literally his girlfriend at this point, his self-esteem is so all over the place that he can’t understand why she would have him at her side. 

And when Clementine tells him that he’s too important to her, he’s too baffled to even give a response. He looks at her in disbelief like he wasn’t expecting her to say that.  But this shows that at the beginning of their relationship, he still doubts himself, and through her working with him, he begins to build up that strength in himself. 

He becomes brave enough to share what got him sent to the school with her, and he plays Don’t Be Afraid for everyone at the party and like.... for once, everyone is listening to him. Really listening to him. They’re not talking shit about his musical skills, they’re not ignoring him or the feelings he’s putting into the song, they’re sitting there with him and I just..... if you watch him, you can see that his eyes get pretty glossy throughout the song. The moment meant something to everyone. 

There’s also the fact that Clementine asked him to come with her and AJ onto the boat, and to be the one in charge of the bomb... that’s a huge responsibly and he feels the pressure of that. He starts to panic a bit about if he can do it, because what if he fucks up? What if he gets them caught and makes everything worse? What if something happens to Clementine and he can’t do anything about it? 

She’s there to reassure him that she believes in him, and that he can do this. They’re going to get everyone back, and he needs to focus... then he asks her to slap him which why would you? that’s dumb, so Clementine smooches him instead and like.... he physically relaxes into her because he’s comfortable and trusts her in this situation. 

Also, he loves her and cares about this mission enough to cover himself and his fancy jacket in walker guts.... sure, he complains while doing so but how else is he gonna cope with rubbing rotten guts on himself to blend in with a herd of walkers? 

Skipping ahead so that we’re not here all day, I wanna talk about the walk back to the school because it’s one of the most important clouis moments in the game and a huge reason that solidifies why the comic is bullshit.

Louis went off on his own to go out and find them. He didn’t know where they would be, he just knew that he had to go out and find them after making sure everyone was okay back at the school because he couldn’t bare the thought that he had lost them. And the way the AJ gets so excited to see him? and the group hug??

At this point, Louis has grown so much as a character. With Clementine by his side to support him, he’s grown stronger and more reliable. Remember how he never thought about the future? Well, now he is because his relationship with Clementine has given him a reason to long for a future. He talks about building this imaginary house with her, one he knows they can’t physically build... but it’s his way of saying we can build a home together, that he wants a future with her and AJ and everyone else. It’s such a personal conversation that flows so easy between them. Louis is more comfortable talking to her about things from his past, which is something he didn’t want to do back in ep1. 

He confides in her how he’s feeling after he shot and killed Dorian, he tells her that having a home means protecting it and I just.... it’s so good, okay? And from Clementine’s side, you can feel how at ease she is with him, too. Just the way she smiles at him as they’re walking? like he’s the cutest thing and she’s so happy to have him with her? 

But then we gotta deal with Minerva’s crazy ass on the bridge and well, AJ shoots Tenn and Louis is having flashbacks to Marlon and it’s not great. That’s a whole thing, and he ends up separated from them while escaping.

We don’t get to see Louis’ reaction to Clementine getting bit and losing her leg since I guess that puts a damper on the overly happy ending. But, going off of what we know about him and what I’ve explained [which isn’t even all of it, this isn’t a full Louis character analysis. if it was, it would be much longer and in multiple parts... believe it or not, I’m trying to not make this too long and only sorta failing...] we can get an idea of how he would react. 

Um, to say he was upset is an understatement.

Because remember, he had no time to think and climbed over the fence, thinking he could get them to climb over and they could get away, but it didn’t work. He ended up leaving them in order to save himself since walkers were closing in on him.

But you know that he’d blame himself for the bite. A lot of, “if I had just stayed” and “I should’ve climbed back over, I should’ve stayed with you.” I’m sure there were points where it looked like Clem wouldn’t make it and I can’t imagine how much hurt he went through watching her suffer and heal from losing a leg like that. 

Not only that, but knowing that AJ was the one to do it? And him thinking about what Clem’s death would do to AJ after all this? There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Louis would take care of AJ if she died. He cares about AJ, and he loves Clementine, so he be there for both of them, even if he’s still hurting from Tenn’s death. 

However, Clementine didn’t die. She survived the bite and amputation, and when we flashforward, she and Louis are still happily together. Louis is right there next to her at dinner, and he’s the one to help her with her crutches. He’s there to go over future plans to meet the traveling caravan, and Clementine wants him to be the one to go. 

Oh, and Louis once again forgives AJ for shooting Tenn, claiming that he understands that AJ saw something that he couldn’t. Like with Marlon, he’s not happy Tenn’s dead but he can see why AJ did it to save his life. 

I just..... happy ending. Clementine and Louis are together and she’s truly happy to have found a home for her and AJ with him at Ericson. 

....But then the comic thought it would be fun to say “nah.” 

The comic isn’t canon, I’m still insulted that it would ever consider itself as such, but even so I can’t help but feel so frustrated about how this would destroy Louis. 

He finally found someone he would consider his best friend, not just his girlfriend. She saw past that funny man persona and he trusted her enough to let her past this wall he built around himself. He let himself become vulnerable around her, he named his song after her. Their initials are carved into his piano with a heart surrounding them. He loved her. 

Clementine left him feeling loved, something he probably hasn’t truly felt since he was a little boy with his parents before their divorce. She loved him even after hearing his past because she knew that wasn’t him anymore, and she helped him build the confidence he needed to step up. Because of Clementine, Louis wants to enjoy every day while also looking at the future. He isn’t lonely anymore, he has her and AJ. He’s truly happy.

So to tell me that Louis would wake up one morning only to have AJ tell him that Clementine’s gone, she’ been planning an escape without telling anyone because she wasn’t happy...? I’m sorry, but if you think that wouldn’t leave Louis absolutely devastated, then you know nothing about him as a character. 

This idea is just.... look, Louis is perceptive. That’s a big part of his character, he’s perceptive of those around him. If Clementine was showing signs of being unhappy or depression, he would see it. He would notice a change. He would be able to tell if something was off, and he would ask her about it. Louis is the type of person to ask you what you need. What can he do to help? What do you need to feel better? And if you don’t know, it’s okay, he’ll help you figure it out in any way possible. 

Plus, the comic suggests that there are times where she went off on her own but came back [probably doing her escape prep ugh] and you expect me to believe that Louis wouldn’t notice that or wonder what she’s doing? Wouldn’t sense that something’s going on? 

After she’s gone, he’s going to blame himself for not being enough. He couldn’t make her happy and he was a fool to think he ever could. AJ lost the only family he’s known since he was born because Louis couldn’t help her, couldn’t do anything to stop her from leaving. 

And for him to realize that she didn’t love him? Clementine, the girl he thought the world of because of how strong and confident and in-charge she was, because she saw him for who he was..... she left him, abandoned him... and she couldn’t even be bothered with a goodbye.... that says that she didn’t care all that much about him in the end.

You KNOW that he would think he had this coming, too. How could the universe allow him to fall in love and be happy with someone who loved him back after what he did to his parents? He would feel so heartbroken that he would see this as some sort of karma for breaking up his parents happy marriage as a kid years before he ever met Clementine and before the apocalypse.

I fucking can’t.... I don’t have the words to fully explain how much I hate this. Louis wouldn’t be okay afterward, and I doubt he’d ever fully recover. I wasn’t joking when I mentioned before that Louis would stop playing piano. How could he sit there and play when I he can see is their initials and remember the night she confessed to him? When he named his song after her? Clementine left and took the music with her because Louis wouldn’t have it in him... something that he used to cope would be ruined and that’s just.... it’s fucking awful. 

Not only that, but now he has AJ who I assume is hurting just as much [though the comics inaccurately assume he would just let Clem go sooo... yeah] and he would be the only one Louis would really talk to about it, but then again.... what if AJ doesn’t wanna talk about it? What if AJ starts to act out and things just become terrible and Louis is just too overwhelmed? 

I just.... UGH. That’s how I feel. UGH. 

Clementine from the comic? Not her. She would never fucking do this to Louis, AJ, or anyone else at Ericson, and you would know that if you played the tfs. 

Sigh.... sorry, I just needed to get this all out. I haven’t seen anyone talk about how Clem leaving would affect Louis and I’ve gotten some asks/come across some posts about Louis that have left me incredibly annoyed.... well, I was annoyed before because of the comics, so my annoyances with those things were only heightened. So yeah... I wanted to talk about Louis’ character in hopes of explaining why he would be so hurt if this comic was canon. 

Which it’s not. So it’s fine. 

How are we all feelin’ at this point, by the way? I know I’m not the only one still annoyed with the comic, so I hope y’all are doin’ okay. Hope you’re stayin’ chill and thinking about your faves to help cope with this mess hahaha

[cushfuddled]

Could I ask you for advice on making YouTube videos, please? I'm thinking of making one, but I have no experience WHATSOEVER on it (and I mean, literally two days ago I googled a tutorial for editing videos to find out the name of main video editing software, I basically just entered kindergarten). So the broadest, most seemingly obvious advice would help immensely. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. I'm still trying to figure out if you can make a video without talking.

HIYA!

Yes, you can definitely make a video without talking. I don't watch a lot of those vids, but there are plenty of people who use text-to-speech software rather than their real voices (some text-to-speech programs have gotten really good). You can also hire someone to read your script for you...If anyone has a site to recommend (where you can hire readers), please reply!

I've heard good things about HitFilm Express. It works a lot like Premiere, and there's a free version available. You can also use whichever free movie program comes with your computer or phone, though! I know of a YouTuber with over a million subs who edits his videos entirely on his phone.

I use yt5s to download YouTube videos. I download animated shows and movies from this version of KimCartoon and download live action stuff from sites like the Pirate Bay. Make sure to install a VPN before torrenting anything, btw. Last year I got an email from my internet provider like "we noticed you illegally downloaded a film :3" and BOY did THAT light my ass on fire to hide my IP. I currently use NordVPN, but there are probably faster ones out there lol.

If you go to the YouTube Studio tab on YT, then the "audio library" page listed on the left sidebar, YouTube gives you a great selection of no-copyright music.

I don't know what type of videos you want to make, but if you're interested in making review-style content, I've noticed that videos that focus on a specific topic tend to do better for small channels than broad reviews (example: "How A Snake Ruined Star Wars" performs better than "Rise of Skywalker Review"). In that situation you can use the snake as a vehicle to talk about the whole film, but a narrower premise tends to get more clicks these days. That, or titles like "In Defense of The Rise of Skywalker" or "The Rise of Skywalker Sucked" would still fare better than "Rise of Skywalker Review."

It's true: negative reviews perform better than positive reviews. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Do what you will with this information.

The algorithm will sometimes bury your video if your title or thumbnail contains words from this list. I've had one of my videos shadowbanned because I used the word "abuse" in the thumbnail. Some people will tell you that you should avoid swearing within the first minute of your video or so (because the bots will pick up on the bad language and restrict your video)...I've never tested this out, but. Better safe than sorry I guess.

Don't worry about monetization for a while, probably? You have to reach a certain amount of watch-time before you qualify for that program. If you do want to make sure your videos are monetizable later, though...use non-copyrighted music, and cut your clips so they're under ten seconds each. Copyrighted music needs to be under eight seconds to evade the bots. YMS explains this in the first couple minutes of this video: [x]

Don't put pressure on yourself to make a popular channel right out of the gate. Sometimes people do get a lot of attention right away, but most people don't start to get real traffic for at least a year? So yeah. Try to make whatever content you want to make and not worry too much about the numbers.

[wyrmy-fics]

if the rfa had youtube channels, what would they be posting?

This is going to be so much fun oml. I know exactly what to do. So buckle up 👁👁

Reblogs are highly appreciated. :)

RFA on YouTube

Includes: Zen, Yoosung, Jaehee, Jumin, Seven, V, Rika.

Warnings -> (N/A)

Type: Headcanons.

Zen:

✧ Zenny’s Tips & Tricks ✧

His channel is mainly about himself, as anyone would guess.

But at the same time, they’re actually helpful and fun to watch. He’s been crowned the “big bro” of YouTube.

Beauty tips: How to wash your face properly and the right products to use, the perfect shampoo and conditioners, how to keep yourself from aging...

Zen will also do tons of reviews and sponsorships.

Whenever he’s not talking about beauty, here comes the tricks.

Acting tricks: How to pick your monologues, the right volume to use within the theatre, how to use your expressions, the red flags in theatre...

Even if you aren’t interested in those, he always makes the videos enjoyable to learn from.

The occasional fancams here and there...

“It’s not weird to show your own fancams, right?”

Yoosung:

⭑ Yoosung Games ⭑

Of course he’d be a gamer channel.

Streams on Twitch and then edits the videos for YouTube the next day.

He has the whole set up too - the gaming chair, headphones, glowing keyboard, etc.

One of the best LOLOL streamers out there, but he also tries new games.

The occasional conspiracy theory videos.

Yoosung often streams with other players too and has his own little circle.

Really kicked off when he tried out Minecraft survival mode.

Would probably be one of those yelling/screaming type streamers...

“The enderman looked scary, okay!!”

Pure of heart, dumb of ass.

Out of request, would probably do some challenges like Try Not to Laugh or Simulator challenges.

CrankGameplays vibes...

Overall a very loved YouTuber and slowly growing in subscribers.

Jaehee:

❊ Jaehee Kang ❊

A very casual YouTuber.

Doesn’t really open up an account until she has her café.

Vlogging about her day is her main source of content.

There are a few videos with tips about creating a business and marketing, as well as what all she did to get there.

Shows off her coffee skills with her morning scenes.

If it’s a slow day for Jaehee, she’ll film herself working with soft music playing in the background that viewers can listen to with her.

Occasionally streams for Q&A sessions and to just talk with her subscribers.

Relationship videos with MC.

Hair updates because she’s excited about it growing out!!

A very loved and relaxing account. Who could hate her.

“Mom of YouTube.”

Jumin:

- (=•́ܫ•̀=) Jumin Han (=•́ܫ•̀=)

A business related channel.

Everyone asks about the cat faces in his name.

He doesn’t answer. (Was put in by Luciel)

Focuses his content on how to run a business and what it’s like for a CEO.

Doesn’t post too often - predominately takes requests when someone has a question about his work.

Will use the account to upload something professionally and send over in meetings.

If given the chance, will talk for a good 30 minutes about one simple thing. No editing either.

One time, Jumin made a video about the Dark Arts and magic he learned from his book. Everyone asked what that was about.

He didn’t answer.

Almost always has Elizabeth the Third with him in his videos too.

“Everyone must see her beauty at all times, don’t you think?”

Seven:

♛ Defender of Justice ♛

People usually call him Seven or Luciel in his videos, though.

Because he can’t show his identity to the world, he’s a masked YouTuber. (Also the reason why Saeran doesn’t create a channel.)

Think channels like Corpse, SwaggerSouls, or Dream.

Plays along with Yoosung in his games and is part of that little circle.

Will occasionally stream but relies more on videos he can edit.

Lots of cool effects in his videos - the intro is never skipped by anyone.

He tried being a VTuber once. Nearly cancelled for catfishing.

When he’s not gaming with Yoosung, Seven is mainly doing reviews on materialistic things.

Probably cars, inventions, recent technology, and giving info about them.

He’s a super mysterious YouTuber because no one knows anything about him. No one can find anything if they tried.

Everyone loves his humor though and how accepting he is to his fans.

V:

✎ Jihyun Arts ✎

Creates his channel after his route.

Will post tutorials, speedpaints, reviews, and look at his subscribers art to compliment them.

Very slow with updating his videos but makes up for it with the length. (Average 15-20 minutes.)

Everyone loves to put his videos on in the background since his voice is really soothing. Especially when he’s painting very quietly.

There are a few videos where he teaches certain techniques with both photography and painting, like lighting and settings.

As a photographer, it was hard to clearly see feedback on his works or talk with fans. Thankfully, YouTube changed that.

It took him a while to ease into it, but he loves engaging with subscribers and asks questions on social media all the time.

Reshares any and all artwork made for him to give his honest opinions, which are all lovely.

Somehow shipped with Jumin by fans.

Rika:

☼ Kim Rika ☼

Posts twice a week with a mixture of content.

Occasionally promotes the RFA and charity work as a leader.

But on other times when there are no parties coming up, she does story times.

With parties and planning around famous (and infamous) guests, she’s bound to have a few interesting stories she can say publicly.

Like how nice Rui is in donating his photographs, or the time she slipped up and said the wrong thing to Chef Lamsey.

They’re all in good fun and typically a drama free channel.

Sometimes will vlog herself when preparing for parties and making trips to gather the things needed.

Lots of cute effects and stays within a very warm theme in all her thumbnails.

Just like Jihyun, she’s one of those channels where people play her videos in the background to simply listen to her voice.

Most likely has a line of merch, all sun and daffodil related.

PHEW that’s a lot of characters. Hope this is what you had in mind! ^^

- 💙

[tundrainafrica]

Which would you say are your favorite fanfics ever? (Levihan ofc)

Okay, I don’t think I’m the best judge of what’s quality or not quality cause I ain’t no writing authority so I cannot vouch for whether you will like these fics or not. But I am a firm believer that good writing makes readers feel things and leaves a lasting impression. 

So lemme rephrase the question… What fics left a lasting impression?

So brace yourself for one hell of a ride while I talk about fanworks that just fucked me up in the following ways: 

Caused me to irrationally hate one random character

Made me forget something isn’t canon

Made me completely rearrange my day because I completely f-ed myself up.

Made me feel guilty for fucking up the view count because I keep going back there.

Makes me remember the fic as an aesthetic, not as actual words. Like literally I will imagine the setting almost perfectly in my head and like when I try to remember what happened, I don’t really remember the writing style or anything, but I could probably create a sim house about how exactly I imagined the house to look like or the yard to look like.

Changed the way I approach fic reading.

I don’t wanna spoil these fics because I’m assuming people are gonna read it so as much as I wanna make a long ass detailed review about why I love each of them, I won’t. I’ll probably just mention what the hell I was doing when I read the fic and how I completely fucked myself over. 

I probably will miss some since I’m just listing these out from the top of my head. So here goes…And I’m only posting completed fics because I’m just that way. 

Second chance by @fanmoose12

This is my comfort fic. The first time I read this fic, it was like 4am or 5am in the morning and I remember after reading it once, I read it like 5 more times that day. 

This is literally the fic I just randomly open on my computer at work on some incognito tab when I’m just tired from all the shit they make us do at work and this is the random fic that I just open up when I feel like reading. And this is one of the fics I plan on showing my children one day when I explain to them what love is. 

This isn’t depressing so I guess it doesn’t fall in the ‘fucked me over’ category but definitely one of the fics I read too many times to count that I remember it scene by scene like some simp. 

Partners by fanmoose12

Woops, one exception for WIPs. I just had to post this here because it definitely left a lasting impression. 

This was the first AU I have ever read and been invested in and I have been reading fanfiction since before I could remember and I have always stuck to canonverse fics until I got into Levihan. 

This fic got me into the AU genre and I have never read AUs in my life before this so I think that says a lot about how much this fic means to me. 

Somewhere Only We Know by @someonestolemyshoes

It’s not completely posted in ao3 yet. But since I beta-ed the fic, I finished it long before SSMS posted it but this fic. It started slow so it took me a week of on and off work to get through  but I got through the second part of the fic, the last 30,000 words  incredibly fast. I vividly remembered reading those last final scenes over breakfast completely in shock while my whole family was there. I literally had to leave the room and take my dog out for a second walk . 

I remember the aesthetic of the overall story vividly enough to actually make a moodboard of it and spend a good 1 hour going through country side pics after finishing it. . 

Yellow by @ariadneamare​

God, this fic. I read this over a day of work. Like breakfast, first few thousand words, Lunch next few thousand words. And I finished the rest before bed and oh god, this is the type of fic that builds a great aesthetic, some lightness and just to fuck you over in the end. 

I like to compare it to a longer and AU version of Pristine in terms of how it strings emotions along. I know they’re two completely different fics but the energy of the fic, the stream of emotions on how it strings you along is fairly similar. 

This is literally one of those fics where I’m just having a good day, and my mind goes ‘remember that one fic’ and I just wrinkle my nose like ‘yeah THAT FIC’ 

Pristine by @mannatea​

I’m sure everyone has read this, it’s practically a classic and I cannot count the number of people who told me it was depressing and I do not know why I did not believe them. I read this while waiting in line for milk tea. I lost my place in line around the time I finished that last part and just gave up on buying milk tea.

It has this build up, this incredibly fluffy build up which won’t make you think it will end the way it did. 

Well. you know a fic is good when you know it’s gonna end a certain way but you allow yourself to get strung along anyway. 

A Simple Choice by just-quintessentially-me

This is one of those fics for me that double as an aesthetic piece and a plot piece. I remember INCREDIBLY WELL, the road I was imagining that they were walking through and it satisfied my hurt comfort feels as well. Definitely one of my favorite 115-126 fics and one of the first ones I read in the fandom for sure. 

So those are the english fics, I have to Japanese fics that fall in that category. 

(For anyone who knows Japanese I guess but I personally think they’re worth a google translate.)

熱に浮く(Feverish Dream)

Classic canon compliant. Hange takes care of Levi when he’s sick fic but there are misunderstandings here, they contemplate their relationship and they are incredibly emotionally constipated here. Definitely one of the classics imo and it feeds my need for hurt/comfort.

前世なんてクソだと言う女と 全て忘れた男 

(A girl who thinks past lives are not real and a boy who forgot everything)

Hange is a teacher, Levi is a janitor. Hange remembers stuff and Levi doesn’t and just really cute stuff. 

I’m pretty sure you guys are tired of me rambling about how much this fic means to me but really, I wrote a Tale of Two Slaves (Which is just brushing 100k words already) because this was just so beautiful it got me into the reincarnation genre.

私の中の少女、あなたの中の少年

(The girl inside me and the boy inside you) 

Levi and Hange are exes/childhood friends and they meet again in a matchmaking party. This is just the greatest balance between emotional constipation and love. The premise was just perfect for the type of build up 

Closest thing I’m gonna drop to smut here. Will leave my smut recs for another post but I’m low key really still thinking whether or not I should expose myself by dropping my favorite Levihan smut pieces hahaha.

Filo Socmed AUs

A lot of these probably aren’t google translatable since Tagalog google translate sucks but if anyone is interested, most Filo Socmed AUs have a fair amount of English so it’s coherent. I guess? I completely forget though how much is in English and how much is in Tagalog but these are the Filo Socmed AUs I REALLY remember and really go back to. 

Vividly Remembered 

This one got me blowing my days worth of salary on some meal in a restaurant because I didn’t wanna go back home to my house yet so I remember just crying over a meal while finishing up this fanfiction instead of going home. 

Basically a fic where Levi and Hange were together already and were about to get married already but shit happened. I irrationally hate Nanaba because of this Socmed AU. Like everytime I see Nanaba, i think of this Socmed AU and I just hate her again. 

Photographs 

Levi and Hange are part of the photography club and shit happens. I remember being behind on work because I decided to take a three hour lunch break to finish this AU. This satisfied my sick Levi craving in so many ways (especially after reading Yellow)

Wherein Levi doesn’t have social media accounts and Hange is the class beadle

This last one just has the overall aesthetic of my own university so it really stuck tbh. And the premise of the build up is just incredibly cute. 

These are the ones I can remember from the top of my head so I’m sure these are among my favorites. I’ll definitely update this as I read more.

[darlingkay]

ikemen opinions 6/?

helloooo it’s me back with another review lol this is taking up all my time and i’m not mad about it. it’s for myself more than anything because i don’t have anyone to talk about these games with and if any of you enjoy my posts along the way then it’s even more worth it :)) today is about one of my favorite tsunderes, yves kloss heh. he was the first prince i chose in ikepri. of course, spoilers are cut below the line !!1!1!!

*disclaimer* : please keep in mind that these are my personal opinions which will of course differ from others!! i’d also like to disclose that i do in fact pay to play, but i only pay for that i deem worth it. i don’t spend money on events or for chapter tickets.

character: yves kloss (ikemen prince)

route: dramatic

rating: .8/10

overall thoughts: yes i love this sweet catboy with all my heart. yves is a sweet man who just wants love and acceptance. a lot of his route made my heart so sad for him but his growth is so beautiful and the photos for his two endings are stunning honest to god. 

highlights:

yves route has such a good ass storyline in my opinion. the dilemma of his lineage is so interesting and i just love how belle helps him overcome that curse and find acceptance of his lineage within himself. even though the crude treatment that yves got for being half obsidianite made my heart hurt for him, it was still worth it. 

i love that it’s canon that yves just has the worst luck ever like why did they make my boy slip on that banana peel like that omg. and that it happens frequently????? ?who is setting up these banana peel traps for my baby??? probably clavis tbh

ok i love that they literally set up the whole fucking route with “well if we fall in love with each other then you can have me and my heart for all time” like what the fuck that’s so cute. kinda like when people promise to marry each other at 30 as a joke and then they do like it’s literally just the same vibe

ONE BED TROPE! ONE BED TROPE! ONE BED TROPE!

i fucking loved the one bed trope here, it was so much better than fenrir’s in ikerev (i’m not sorry). it’s setup kinda weird like they didn’t really know how to make it happen but the actual scenes with them in the bed together is just so cute. i think that what i love is that it just made yves realize that maybe he was in love and that this sweet boy didn’t know how to process the idea of being in love and the “i don’t like you at all!!” was just so funny and very yves because he gets flustered so quickly and easily.

nokto calling him evie.

i love that even though his heritage makes his life so hard and lonely, he still tries to overcome it on his own prior to belle, like wearing the gemstones of both nations in his earring. the earring is hot asf by the way. 

i read somewhere on tumblr where someone said that yves and jonah clemence are definitely related across the ikemen universe and after this route it’s sooooo true. props to you person that i don’t know!

yves brothers do love him a lot he’s just easy to fluster which is precious :’)

dislikes:

just to preface, i don’t have many complaints here. overall i really liked a lot about this play though, it was so good. so none of these are really dislikes, just kinda general comments but like they aren’t highlights so they’re written here. 

i think that this route was really well written but i wish there was just a litttle more interaction with the other princes like yes we see that yves dotes on licht much to his dismay and that lict really does care a lot about yves but i just think that there could have been a little more of a dusplay of dynamic here. i wish yves was closer with more of his brothers but i think that’s just because i know how alone he felt and it makes my heart so sad for him :(((

should’ve been more banana peel slips just saying. 

i didn’t love the solution for king that is used i this route. i’m not sure who it would or should have been but it was just weird to me that belle didn’t have to choose even though sariel is so strict in his ways and the time limit was passed up. and it was clear that yves wasn’t actually fit to be king (a leader of course but not king in my opinion) so it’s not like this was the solution for avoiding clause 99. i don’t know i just think there should have been a real pick for king rather than “all the princes should work together until i pick!!!” idk seemed lazy. 

HOWEVER, it kinda makes sense that belle doesn’t choose a king in this route because she honestly kinda spends so little time with any of the other princes. like this route is VERY centered around yves (i mean duh, emmie!!) but i mean like a lot. like a lot of routes have a lot of interaction and dynamic with other suitors that actually really adds to the story and the fun (i.e. kenshin, sasuke, shingen and yukimura in ikesen), but in this play through i feel like there's a lot less compared to my example. im okay with it though because it’s well written and so important for us to understand yves on that level. plus the interactions we get are good. 

favorite memory: so i’m much more into yve’ more sweet and loving memories, because a lot of his are sad and like cybird went hard fucking core in the sadness in yves’ life because mans really had me on the verge of tears sometimes. i’m off topic lol, anyways i’d say my favorite memory with yves was probably the beautiful one bed trope because i’m always a hoe for a one bed trope. especially because i think it’s so cute how he realizes he’s in love with belle and gets all flustered in typical yves fashion and screams “i don’t like you!!” because idk it just funny and so cute. i am quite the yves enthusiast.

to compare routes is kinda hard, i was super invested in yves the whole time, while with chevalier i was so frustrated at how slow the burn was. however. i felt like chev’s ending was, much more fulfilling for this same reason so it’s just a lot of personal preference. i remain a chevalier stan 4 lyfe babes. 

[golbrocklovely]

okay, i'm gonna do this review fast bc we all know how i feel about this episode anyway lol

here's my review of snc's third episode in their season 2 series

aka "Our Unexplainable Night at Crescent Hotel (w/ KallmeKris & CelinaSpookyBoo)"

so, hilarious enough, i actually didn't mind this episode in the beginning. kris and celina's funny bits at first were really good, and i never mind when they all joke around before the investigation. and even during, to some extent.

but this one…. went well past just occasionally joking around. this was full blown "let's go back to 2019 and freak out over every little thing and make fart jokes" levels of bad.

and while the content they made back with corey and jake wasn't bad, it's just not on the same level as they are now. they actually take this seriously. they do and put a lot more work in, so to see them revert back to what they were like before…. no thank you.

so the beginning was fun and i generally liked it. finding out the hotel had a cat manager is adorable. and the little cat door for the current cat?? so sweet.

the hotel itself is actually really gorgeous looking. i like the decor and i like that it's so high up that later on, it's basically covered in fog.

during the whole entire video, the only thing they actually caught that i think was interesting was the towel being moved. that's strange for sure. bc where it moved to is a significant amount of movement. so unless they were lying to us about going back into that room at some point, then i think that is some interesting evidence.

as for the figure kris saw, i do feel bad that she got really emotional. i can only imagine how scary it was to see. that being said, if i was literally in tears, i would probably need to remove myself or just take a bit to calm down just to continue on bc there's no way i'm going into a place that worked up nerve wise. the spirits, whether good or bad, would be FEASTING off of her energy. i wouldn't be surprised if after this investigation (and then this weeks video) that kris was just drained.

the key turning in her hand… eh. i think it was just the weight of the key and an old ass lock.

i noted that 35 minutes in, over half way thru, the investigation never really seemed to start. like there might have been a title sequence for it, but…. it never felt like they actually took the time to chill and start the investigation. there was no settled moment in this video. everything was amped to 11 and loud. and i could not stand it for the life of me.

there was literally a point i had to TURN DOWN the volume bc they were screaming so much. like……………. no words.

their tour guide was fine at first but as time went on, i could just feel the theater kid vibes coming off of him (take it from the theater degree holder, me lol).

and someone else pointed it out, i forget who, but with how loud snc got that i wouldn't be surprised that if at some point they get kicked out of a hotel for being that obnoxious. i think that's my problem with them going to haunted hotels. unless they are completely alone or have rented out a whole floor or something, there's no way to tell if the bangs and random shit they hear are guest or ghosts.

two things i would like for snc to remove from their arsenal of devices: the cat ball and writing planchet. neither one are believable or interesting on camera to see be used/go off. just… get something else. use literally any other device. please.

fun fact about the meat locker: the apple smell that colby smelled and the rancid one kris was smelling was probably mold. mold to me sometimes smells like apples, but smells bad to my mom. so… that's fun sksks

also, idk if anyone else noticed or agrees, but the video's editing kinda came across like super rushed and not finished. i mean, they didn't even end with a preview for the next episode. that almost never happens. it almost felt like they stitched together what they could to make a video and dumped it out hoping ppl would enjoy.

overall, this video blew. i feel bad rating it low, bc i did laugh quite a bit, but i kept getting annoyed and everything was just TOO MUCH, so i'm gonna rate this like a 1/5. part of me thinks that harsh, another part of me thinks it's not harsh enough. if snc had sold this video as really fun, borderline jokey type of "paranormal" video, i probably would have liked it a bit more. but even then, i don't think so. the parts i enjoyed were cancelled out from the fact that the whole thing felt like a joke and was just too loud. so… hopefully if they ever collab with this duo again, maybe they will turned down a bit. possibly literally.

and this week's video… omg. just finished it not too long ago. it's so good. i'll try to post my review later this week and not like how i have been which is after next week's video lol